|sports radio 1010 interview
Al Snow recently did a phone-in 'Steelcage' interview with Sports Radio 1010..They did not list a date the interview was done, but it seemed to be fairly recent, due to content..The sound was a bit spotty, but here goes:
Sports Radio 1010: Would you please welcome to the show, Mr. Al Snow..
(Al's music plays in the background)
Al: Hey, Mikey..
1010: What's going on, Big Al?
Al: Hey, I'm all about you, man.
1010: Hey, Amy, kill that music real quick, will you? Can we play this online so that Al can hear it? Al, one time I met you in Orlando, backstage at the show, and you did a drop for my wrestling show..
1010: It might be one of the funniest things we've ever played on the show..Played on the air as 'Cow HEAD'..
Al: Cow HEAD? (laughs) Okay..
1010: Tell me what you think of now, 'cowHEAD', and I'll tell you what you said..you know, 8 months ago..
Al: Okay..CowHEAD..That's one of my favorite pastimes on the farm, CowHEAD..
(everyone laughs hysterically)
1010: That's what you said! And pstimes I had include, sprinkling salt on my *ss and walking backwards through the petting zoo..
(Al is laughing)
Al: Yeah..the petting zoo..that's one of my all-time favorites to do..You can get a little lonely on the road, you know..the animals don't get hurt, there's no victims..They enjoy it, it's like playing 'salt lick'..I've learned a lot in my twenty years on the road, and that would be one of them..another one would be, you can't run a three-legged pitbull..
1010: (still laughing)
Al: Found that out...Oh, and uh..uh..you can't make somebody love you--you can only stalk them, and hope to wear 'em down..
1010: Words of wisdom from Al Snow..
Al: Yeah..unless they get one of those d*mn restraining orders..Yeah..I'll get her sooner or later..
1010: Hey speaking of that, we were just talking to Chuck Finley, and the Tawny Kitaen story--ever hear that story?
Al: No, huh-uh..
1010: Tawny Kitaen usta be in the Whitesnake videos..
(Al makes that cute growling noise)
.... Not anymore, dude..
Al: No, probaly not now..the years have probably been hard on her..
1010: You should see her mugshot, man..She's married to Chuck Finley, who's a pitcher for the Cleveland Indians, and she's all drugged up, and she beat the crap outta him..
Al: Oh? She beat the crap outta HIM? Wow..Girls, you know, they go into aerobics and stuff now, you never know..That Tae-Bo stuff is a killer.
1010: I blame it on wrestling, you guys make everybody violent.
Al: I don't know about that Billy Blanks and that Tae-Bo stuff, man..It says right on the commercial, man..he has a girl saying, 'I feel safe walking across the parking lot at night now'..And I'm thinking, yeah, You know Tae-Bo, what about when the mugger jumps out and you go, 'I know Tae-Bo', and the guy goes 'Gimme your purse', and pulls out a gun..what are ya gonna do then?
1010: Billy Blanks aint gonna help ya..
Al: Yeah, Billy Blanks, he's laughing all the way to the bank..
( Note: They both keep calling Billy Blanks, Billy Banks, hahah, hence the joke..)
1010: Alright, so we got Al Snow, and I tell ya..I'm a fan of yours, but I think the best thing that's happened to you was Tough Enough, because it put you back in the spotlight, and people saw, not only the talent, but the charisma that you have; because that stuff's always been the key with you and how do you like the Tough Enough 2 so far?
Al: I think Tough Enough 2 is..uh..in a way, I think, you know, even better; because, it's..I'll be honest, it's a testament to the people that put the whole show toghether, 'cos you turn on a camera seven days a week, 24 hours a day, you're gonna get good stuff; but then constructing it, putting it together in a fashion that makes people want to watch it, and make it compelling; um, the editors are just doing a fantastic job doing that this year..
1010: They are. I enjoyed the first year, but this year is just like, 100 times better, by far, and I think it all started off with that first episode you had in Vegas, where you had all these guys coming out, all the wanna-bes--we talked about that for three days..that was some quality entertainment.
Al: yeah, yeah--It is quality entertainment, until you're havin' to sit there for two days, fourteen hours a day
(they all laugh)
--then after a while, it's like, 'Not another one, please'..Somebody get something large..and blunt..and heavy..so I can beat myself around the head and neck..
1010: 'I;m gonna give 100 percent, no, 110 percent'..
Al: Yeah, 'I'm 110 percent, I'm a diva', ahh..yeah, you're a cow.
1010: (laughs again)
Al: One of the best lines was when JR said 'You can't get into the ring looking like you just had a litter of pups', and they show 'Cosmo, and he literally looks like he just got done suckling some piglets..
(they all laugh)..
You're literally just sitting there up on the stage going, 'Uh-huh..urrrggh'..
1010: Hey, what about Hawk, man? I mean, I'm sure it's done taping..
Al: Oh, our own personal Sybil?
1010: Uh..we noticed this yesterday, all the kids on the show are wearing University of South Florida shirts, which is like, five miles from here..Al: Right.
1010: And I think, Hawk, is the only one from Florida, and he's the..
Al: Yeah, he's from Gibsonton..
1010: You know what Gibsonton is? The Circus Freaks!
Al: Yeah, the lobsterman place!
(Note: Gibsonton is a small community consisting of, and founded by carnys and freak show employees, for those not 'in the know'..)
Al: Yeah, see, brother, I know, I know..
1010: Dude, I'm shaking..
AL: He's not actually from Gibsonton, but I kept telling him he was..
Al: I kept telling him that his future wife was Gabora the Gorilla Girl..
1010: That's quality.
Al: Yeah. They're uh..I tell ya, Midgets, I they're underrated..
Al: I think small people equal big ratings.
1010: Dude, one of the funniest things was..
Al: I want like, a Midget Tough Enough.
(all are still laughing)
... Personally, I'd like a army of midgets..just to control.
1010: I'm the same way, only I want them to live with me, I don't want to control them, I wanna be like Santa Claus..I wanna just pay them, and just have them do the chores..
Al: That's be cool, think about it--there's so many advantages; because they're cheap to travel, 'cos you can rent just one minivan and just stack 'em in there..
1010: Forget Minivan, hockey bag..
Al: Yeah, you don't have to buy an airplane ticket, you can just put 'em in the overhead bin..They might complain, you know because you run 'em through the security checkpoint, (in a mocking, whiny voice)'I might get brain cancer in the x-ray'..Yeah, shaddup..
1010: (laughing) Ohh, man..
Al: My deal with Hawk is, watching the show, that's what...gets more interesting..
1010: Can't get more interesting than that..
Al: OHHHHHH...It gets re-e-e-al interesting....Oh, hahahah, God, yeah..trust me. I was sitting there at one point going, 'Oh, God, help me..' I rea-e-eally was questioning..
1010: You know what gets really annoying? That guy that didn't make it then made it? The Danimal?
Al: Oh, Dan.
1010: He had no character, he was just the greatest..he beat everybody in the athletic stuff, but..then had no character, then went on afterwards, and found out that his character should have been 'Crying Guy'..That's all he did was cry!
(Al is laughing, then they do some mock crybaby sounds..)
Al: he shoulda been 'The Weeper' or something..I don't know, everytime I turned around he was like, 'OOO, OOO, I don't wanna..(something)' Yeah, please Dan, shove a hot poker up my *ss..Thanks for making me feel even more like a heel, I'm killing your dreams, I'm killing your hopes...yeah..Then I get to see him on TV, 'OOO, I really wanted this..'--I think, Ohh, I just wanna go slit my wrists now..
1010: Hey, be honest. Who else did you want to just walk up to and go , 'I'm sorry, but you're cut'...when you're really going, 'I can't believe you made it this long..'
Al: (laughing) Well, I can say this, Aaron was really good, as far as, you know--but that interview where he says, 'All my friends say I have this magnetic personality'? I went home and watched that, and went, 'Your friends LIED. Aaron, get new friends. Some that are honest with you..'Cos they told you a LIE.'
1010: Jake has got..
Al: The only way you'd be magnetic is if sombody put a steel plate in your head.
Al: I'm sorry, I had to vent there.
1010: Oh, no, that was good..I appreciate that. Your boy Jake has got the best physique and the best hair, but I'm really banking on..he's just got to get lost in the mix, I want to see Hawk in there..Tourette's Boy..that would just be the absolute best.
Al: Yeah, you know, nothing's better than..except for midgets; but then, other than that..Nothing's better than to go behind a guy that has Tourette's at like, a Burger King or something, you know?..And watch him order..'I'll take some french fries..AAAAAAHHHHEEEORRRRR..' That's..that's quality entertainment.
1010: Hey, this is much better than talking to Matt Hardy, I'll tell ya that much.
Al: Well, you know, Matt's not gonna go, like, exploring the darker side of things, like Tourette's and midgets..you know..
1010: Yeah, midgets..
Al: THAT'D be even better..a midget WITH Tourette's..Because you'd walk up to the counter, and you'd see the guy not being able to see..
1010: You'd just hear it.
Al: You'd just hear the guy, like, having like, outbursts..
(more laughing and carrying on--as hilarity ensues..)
1010: Well, thanks..
Al: It was like that whole 'Wizard of Oz' thing, gone terribly wrong..
1010: You got Backlash on Sunday night
(Note: This gives us some time frame here)
, and tonght on Smackdown!, you and Maven are teaming up, and I tell ya, although I think he's doing a pretty good job, the only good thing to me about Maven is, watching everybody kicking the crap out of him..
Al: That is kinda enjoyable, even for me..but, the other thing's, honestly; the other positives are, he drives the car..and he carries my bags..
1010: There ya go, that's all you need.
Al: And he scrubs my back in the shower.
1010: It's really a duty-boy contest, you don't reall get to wrestle, he's really Al Snow's b*tch.
Al: Basically, yes.
1010: I'm still waiting for Hardcore Holly to snap somebody's neck..
Al: Oh, he's uh..talk about living on the edge, huh?
1010: The best is when he's in the ring, when the Dudley's are there, and they're practicing cutting promos, and the one guy's, I think it was 'The Danimal' and he's freakin' out, and he's pointing, and Holly's..
Al: 'Don't point at me'
1010: Yeah, Holly's eating a salad on the ring and he goes, 'Don't point at me'--and the kid about craps his pants right there.
Al; He's just PPPPBBBPP...you just literally heard just PPPPPBBPPPPP..'I'm gonna go clean myself, I'll be right back'..It was funny watching him, 'cos I had to control everybody, not just like, you know, the other trainers; MTV, and the kids, and you know, like--I'd be in there working with one of the kids and he'd be like on the floor, pacing, 'cos the kids wouldn't be able to get what I was trying to teach him, and he'd finally just come and go, (In a cranky Holly voice) 'You just can't go and do it like that, aaargggh!'
1010: Just work 'em up.
Al: I'm like, 'BOB..you know..go shopping, eat some chocolate, man, take some Midol, God..'
1010: Tough Enough2's gonna do the same thing for Holly as it did for you, it let's you see a side of him that's so much vetter, that we never get to see, all we see is him and Elroy running around the ring, and we don't get to see what a mean*ss he really is..
Al: Yeah, that's Bob..he's a good guy, he really is, he's got a good heart, but he's..he's got a temper.
1010: (in a Holly voice) 'Not going to let punks like you come in and ruin it for guys like me!'
.... And he tells Big Show, when Big Show asks how he was coming in, 'You were a real *sshole'..Just straight up.
Al: (laughing) Yup. Just, you know, 'Yeah, you were a pr*ck, yeah', straight up...What are you gonna do about it, buddy?
1010: Alright we got Backlash on Sunday, what are you gonna do in Backlash?
Al: We're taking on, uh..Billy and Chuck, you know, for the Tag Team belts.
1010: How gay is that?
Al: AAAhhhhhh...Gay is NOT the word. And you thought Showtime was the only one that had the show, 'Queer as some Folk are'?
1010: Billy Gunn was queer before the Chuck and Billy thing
(Al is gasping for breath from laughing)
..and he lives not too far from here, so I really mean that.
Al: yeah, um..you know..those are two guys that get their panties in a bunch..
1010: Dude, Al..It's great talking to ya, man, I know you're on a limited schedule there, but man, feel free to call the show anytime you want!
Al: If I aint got nuttin' better to do, and you guys aint got nuttin' to do, you know, I'll come hang out..
1010: That's pretty much everyday..Where do ya live, Al? What state do you live in?
Al: I live in a state of confusion, usually..Um, uh, legally I have residence in Ohio. And the reason I do, is they got such liberal breeding laws for wrestlers here..um, you know..I got a couple children, I'm mean, you know, I'm like the mighty salmon, and I swam upstream..so..I'm pretty proud of that, too..
1010: Alright, before you go, can you do an ID for us?
Al: You know, I can do anything you guys want...'cos you're such..you're great guys, and you know where Gibsonton is, you know about Lobsterboy...
1010: We don't 'F' around.
Al: Yeah, yeah, you know the whole midget deal..You know, THAT'S what I want to do when I grow up, whe I get done wrestling, I want to be, like, a midget porno wrangler..where you just round 'em up, you know..round 'em up for their little midget porno movies..
1010: Have you seen a midget porno?
Al: No, I haven't.
1010: Don't lie, Al..
Al: I haven't, I want to...just to experience it.
1010: You know you're looking at 'em on the internet all day long..
Al: AHhhh...really. Man, that internet thing is really coming along, isn't it?
1010: Yeah, I hear it's the wave of the future.
Al: yeah, I'm gonna hop on and ride..
1010: Alright, all you got to do is, the name of the show is 'The Replacement Show'..
Al: The replacement show? 1010: Yeah, not because we are replacing anybody, but because we can be replaced at any time..
Al: Oh, I see..that's like, witty..
1010: Well, somewhat.
Al: You're sharp as a tack, man..or sharp as a (something) in a dresser drawer.
1010: It's the midgets. All you gotta do is get 'The Replacement Show' in there..you can mention midgets, ahh..whatever you wanna get in there..
Al: Midgets, (something) midgets..Just another thing real quick..
Al: I just, you know, um..I saw the greatest Jerry Springer show, EVER.
1010: Okay. Do yours, and guaranteed I can top it.
Al: Okay, 'Seeing Eye Midgets!'
(hilarity ensues yet again)
1010: You win, I'm sorry, you win! My bad..
Al: Seeing eye midgets..with harnesses.
1010: (In a munchkin voice) 'Watch the car, watch the car, the light's red!'
Al: 'Green, let's go, chum..let's move!' Messed up in here, I wanna get a drink..1010: That makes my 'Big black P*nis' episode..nothing.
Al: Nothing compares to midgets. I'll even use that in the promo.
1010: Alright, go ahead, Al..lay it down..
Al: Alright, this is Al Snow with the WWf, and you, unfortunately, are listening to, 'The Replacement Show', it's not as good as Jerry Springer's episode with the Seeing Eye Midgets, but hey, who can top that?
1010: There ya go..Backlash is this Sunday, call your cable operator, and I believe you can also get it at WWF.Com on the Webcast, Al--it is a pleasure talking to you..
Al: When you're off of the Midget Internet site you guys told me about..'cos, hey, I'm telling you, I'm getting onto this Internet thing..I'm running out today, and I'm buying a computer.
1010: You do that, you email us..
Al: Yeah, like, what's that? That Webtv thing (note: HAHAHHA), WOWW! 'Cos I can like, watch TV and like, be on the Web at the same time..
1010: He's crazy, eh?
Al: I'd be REALLY lazy then..I don't even have to get up and you know, like, get on my phone line! 'Cos if I'm on my phone line, I cant talk to you guys, then..I can't watch midget porno over the Internet..
1010: Backlash is Sunday, but when's the end of Tough Enough--when do we find out who won?
Al: Um, May 30th is the final show, the live show for Tough Enough, when we find out, and we don't have to pick, we don't have to pick a guy and a girl this time, we can pick two guys, we can pick two girls..
1010: Oh, really? Yeah, but I think that big Annie b*tch is gonna make it.
Al: You think so?
1010: I mean, she's Amazon-like, and she's much better looking than Chyna..who might have a p*nis..
Al: Linda, though, Linda's pretty good, she's pretty tough, too.
1010: Oh, yeah, Linda; that's who I mean, who's the one..
Al: Linda's black, you know..telephone black.
1010: Yeah, but she's obnoxious.
Al: Yes, she is. But Annie's the big Swiss Miss Blonde..
1010: The other on's the one getting naked in the jacuzzi..well, tonight, rather..
Al: See? There ya go..Yeah, that's how you keep track of 'em..
1010: Tv that makes me touch myself, too..
Al: Yeah, kinda like the Internet thing.
1010: Al, we're gonna wanna get you on again, before the May 30th episode.
Al: Yeah, please, I'll be glad to.
1010: Who's gonna call him and tell him it's just a midget 15, guys? (note: ???)
Al: I'll go, ' I know exactly'..Normally, memory-wise? I'm like on a mental accuity level, guys, just so you know, I'm running like neck and neck with a carrot..or a guy in a coma..I hear 'Midget 15' and I'm like oh, what?..'cos you guys, are the guys that hipped me to the Internet..
1010: Alright Al, thanks.
Al: Sure, thank you, see you later. 1010: Later, buddy...
(after Al hangs up)
....1010:Oh my God.....
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