start out the show talking about the fact that
Al's plane is late getting into
Then they begin a discussion about how Al has labored under anonymity most of his career and about what it must be like to have something like a doll being yanked off store shelves be the thing to make him famous. One of the announcers makes some crack about going into Al's basement and finding an actual severed head and the other one makes reference to the smell.
Al finally makes it to the studio and he has what looks like a cake pan full of food with him.
Kevin Kelly: From the sublime to the ridiculous, joining us live in the studio fresh off of a plane from Lima, Ohio, the lovely, talented chicken and pasta eatin' Al Snow!
Al: yea, and spousal abuser. They make this right here in the studio (referring to the chicken and pasta), it could have more chicken and less pasta.
KK: We have a woman downstairs and all she does is make chicken and pasta...with a woman's head in her closet, yea.Al?
KK: What was it in your upbringing that caused you to want to sever women's heads?
Al: You know, you would think that most cases it would be somebody's upbringing. That would cause someone to abuse their spouses, not an action figure (clears his throat).
KK: You know, like did something tragic happen to you were you struck by lightning? What happened?
Al: I was struck by a car. Actually, that had nothing to do with it. I think it was the purchase of the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip that led me to my future of killing women and cutting off their heads.
KK: What went through your mind when you heard about the controversy over the action figure, it all related back to the story that first appeared in the Atlanta Constitution Journal and then the lady who went into Wal-Mart, there's the offending action figure.
Al: Pulling the action figure due to public safety concerns, I just wanna point out though that I was able to stop at Walmart and that's why I'm late, actually I was able to buy a shotgun and live ammo...
KK: Very good.
Al: But I can't by my doll, but I can buy a shotgun and live ammo, a large hunting knife, you need that for cutting up body parts.
KK: and camouflage so you can sneak up on people and shoot them, yea that's one of the nice little..
Al: Yea, its a double... double-moron...
KK: What's that word?
Al: Oxymoron, that's it, something moron.
KK: They are idiots, but you know what? it not necessarily Walmart, Walmart reacted reactionarily, but then again, you know when they hear things like that they sometimes , you are gonna react in a gut fashion. I think the blame truly goes, I mean, the irresponsible people who wrote the article to begin with.
Al: You know, I think it goes in general that people operate between panic and complacency. Today in the United States, people are always gonna look for a scapegoat or excuse as to why people have a certain behavior instead of coming right out and saying look in general people or human beings are animals, and when you are civilized you have to put aside a certain part of your animal nature and their are those people who don't wanna put away certain things and so they end up doing things that are bad. The fact of the matter is that we've always had and we always will have murder. We will always have violence, we will always have abuse of some sort or another and I actually think that I could say because I'm ignorant at the statistics, but statistics show that its went down recently. Probably because of the more sensitivity and the exposure of the problem.
KK: Violent crime has definitely dropped across the United States in the past few years and I know the statistics and carry that out, but do you feel as a public figure, as a SuperStar of the World Wrestling Federation, seen on television on a twice or three times weekly basis, that you hold some sort of responsibility? Does it lie with you or does it lie with who's watching the program?
Al: None whatsoever. If you are going to go out and kill somebody because you saw a movie, then more than likely your gonna go out and kill somebody anyway. The idea of the fact that you went out and killed somebody just because of what you saw perpetrated on television or in the entertainment or media business is ridiculous.
KK: but the Marilyn Mason record really has some really good thoughts about it.
Al: Some really good thoughts about it. If you were already unhinged and didn't have a full picnic basket anyway.
KK: very good.
Al: and that has nothing to do with me. Its just like they say I always got this from reporters, they ask it because they think its a loaded question and they don't think I'm gonna have an answer for it, and that is they ask, do you think you're responsible for the children? What I say is no and the reason why is that I have 2 children and I made them, that is why I have to take responsibility for raising them. I don't ask my neighbors to do it. I don't ask the teachers to do it, I don't ask their friends to do it. I don't ask my family to do it, and I damn sure don't ask the media and the entertainment business to raise my kids. I raise them and I feel that if you need to look to me, or you need to have your child look to me as a role model, there is something wrong in your house. My son and daughter look to me as their role model. My son idolizes Steve Austin and Michael Jordon that's pretty normal, but he looks to me to be his role model. He doesn't look to anybody else to be his role model and I don't think its right for one to ask for you to be their children's role model and not to look at me as one. I'm not here to raise your kids, but if you want me to I'll do it. I can actually do a better job than some of you can.
KK: ON an hourly basis, I think we could work out something.
Al: I think we could, yea, I'll need a big jar of Nyquil and a roll of duct tape.
KK: is that how you ran your baby-sitting service back in your day?
Al: actually I never had a baby-sitting service, I did use the Nyquil though.
KK: Right, you just woke up on the front lawn of the day care center.
Al: I could use some now as a matter of fact.
KK: Absolutely, well we got tons of call here for Al Snow, you wanna be part of it too? Call 1-888-wwf-(something I couldn't catch). Line 5 you're up next, what's your question?
Line 5: Hey, what's up? I just want to know what Al thinks about Mick Foley's documents, I just finished reading his book and I think that he really put his body on the line alot and I wanted to ask him why he thinks he did that.
Al: Why did Mick Foley put his body on the line alot?
Line 5: Yea and like why he would go through that for wrestling?
Al: Well, basically because he loves the business and he loves the fans and the other reason is because we all put our bodies on the line, not just Mick. I mean he has the distinction of putting it on the most extreme of everything, but we all put our bodies on the line and , Mick unfortunately for him, developed a situation where he taught you, the fans, to expect him to put his body on the line and every time he taught you to expect that, he also taught you to raise you expectations of him and what he would do to get the reactions out of you and each and every time he was backed into a corner where he had to go higher and crazier and he's really pushing himself to the limit.
KK: Yea, but if you look at his career and the World Wrestling Federation, as to yours, I mean, he's famous for 2 bumps at Hell in the Cell.
KK: in effect and alot of other things as well, I mean he's taken a lot of high falls and alot of risks and things like that.
Al: True buy
KK: You've probably done 10 times as many hard-core matches as he has.
KK: you were doing them every night on the road.
Al: That's right, but people don't appreciate the real side of him which is the entertaining, entertainer side being its overshadowed so much by this 2 bumps Hell in the Cell.
KK: I think that's coming to the forefront even more so with what you guys have been doing lately. Especially when he gave you HEAD.
Al: On national television.
KK: The first time you were given HEAD on Raw.
Al: That's what friends are for, a true friend and only a true friend will give you HEAD.
KK: That's what friends are for. I think he's saying now you guys are starting to have some fun.
KK: Will we see Mankind and Al Snow at Survivor Series? And what happens with the New Age Outlaws and the tag team titles. Find out this Sunday, but I'm interested in is you guys as a team, the friendship that you have is a love/hate relationship, one where you're constantly knocking one another, Micks book, as great as it is, is littered, peppered, with Al Snow jokes, I mean he really went all out to brutalize you in print as much as possible.
Al: Yes, yes, that's one of his rare opportunities to do that.
KK: Its like it's a passion.
Al: I think Kevin Kelly stirred that up a bit, yea you were a double agent.
KK: I came clean in Raw magazine and I apologize to Al and Mankind.
KK: If he's listening, I'm sure he is, let's go to line 1, line 1, you're up next with Al Snow.
Line 1: Hi gang, how's everyone doing?
KK: We're all good.
Line 1: Al, I gotta admit, you're sounding very lucid, very intelligent tonight. I'm really impressed. Usually you're a hell of an entertainer. I've been a snowflake for God knows how long.
KK: What's that?
Al: You know, like Jericho refers to his fans as Jericoholics? I thought of calling my fans Al-coholics.
Line 1: That?s bad, that's been done, should be either snowflakes or head-heads.
KK: This portion of Byte This is being brought to you by lithium, to keep Al Snow under control.
Al: Keeping me heavily medicated, so what?'s your question?
Line 1: Aside from the general compliment that you really sound like you got your answers in line for the interviews and stuff, because Lord knows you got a lot of publicity now. I'm real pleased that it times so well with the push that you're getting, as if it (inaudible).
Al: We'll see if I'm actually getting a push or not, time will tell.
KK: You've made Saturday Night Live.
Al: I know, and I made Craig Killborn in Time magazine and I bucked the trend, I was on the cover of the lifestyles section of USA Today without a dime.
KK: Line 5, apparently we have a friend of Al Snow's on Line 5.
Line 5: Al, I just wanted to know...
Al: It's Nathan, how ya doin? Nathan?
Line 5: I just wanted to know what you thought about Mankind this Sunday?
Al: Oh, well, I guess Mankind...
KK: Do us a favor Nathan, listen to us
Al: Turn down the thing in the background there.
Line 5: O.k.
KK: Open another carton of Kools there.
Line 5: O.k.
Al: Nathan are you there?
Line 5: Yes, I am.
Al: Okay, well, we're looking foreword to taking on the Outlaws for the tag team titles. I think we'll probably pull one out so, and you never know that Manny is gonna pull out of his tights, so God knows what?s down there.
Line 5: Well, it was great talking to ya.
Al: You take care Nathan.
Line 5: I will.
KK: and there you have it, Nathan joining us on Byte This.
Al: He's a buddy of mine.
KK: Is he?
Al: Yes, he is, Nathan lives in Lima, where I live, and Nathan is terminally ill.
KK: Is he an alcoholic?
Al: No, he isn?t, well, yea, he is an Al-choholic, but he drinks a lot though.
KK: I apologize for the insensitive comment towards him.
Al: (laughing) yea, another pack of Kools. Way to go Kevin! He only has 1/4 of a lung left I think.
KK: Like that character actress in Beetlejuice, she was negotiating a lease or something...Line 6
Line 6: Hey Al, are we gonna get to see you at Survivor Series?
A: I have no idea, I never have any clue as to what the future holds for me as far as the World Wrestling Federation is concerned.
Line 6: Oh Al, one more thing.
Line 6: Keep up the good work that you're doing and I'm kinda proud that your finally getting over, I'm not saying that you haven't always been one of my favorites or anything. It's just about time you actually get over. Just keep up the good work and everything.
Al: I appreciate that.
KK: About damn time you started making..
Al: It's about time, yea, it's about time that I finally get off the bum list and start making a future for myself and my family.
KK: We're gonna be proud of him someday.
Al: Someday you're gonna look back and say "I knew him when".
KK: Like Mick is doing to us now.
Al: Right, the author.
KK: Leaving us in the dust. Line 5, you?re up.
Line 5: I wanna know what Al?s opinion was of ECW and Paul?
Al: What is my opinion of ECW and Paul E? I think ECW is fantastic. I think it was a terrific place to work, I loved it there. I miss it. Paul E I think is a terrific promoter, creative genius, he knows how to accentuate people's positives and hide their negatives very well. I think as a businessman though, he sucks. He tries to do too much himself instead of delegating it. He needs to change and advance with the times since it's now a national company and I think that?s very different for Paul E to do.
KK: How do you think Taz is gonna do here in the World Wrestling Federation?
Al: I really don?t know, I mean it could be one of those things that........
(UGH!! I couldn?t get the Realplayer to read anything past that, I tried 3 separate times.
Credit:Maggie O-Staff member