|Hi all, it's Indigo, here for the Tough Enough report! This week on Tough...*thwack* Ow! Greg! Why are you hitting me with that chair! *Thwack* Ow! Ow! Ow!!!!!
Hah! Indi is out cold! This Tough Enough review has been commandeered by your new role model, the Ayatollah of Report and Rollah, Grrrrrrrrreg!!! So let's kick this pig, jerky, cause I got a limo fulla fine white b****es waiting for me out back!
Previously on Tough Enough Three: The crew went to Iceland, Eric got some play, and Kelly got some cut. And did anyone else thing that the last shot of Kelly walking up the street was kinda cruel? Geez, you don't even get a ride anymore when you're cut??? Oh and Jonah and Eric think Jamie's repulsive. Wow, with guys like that rejecting you, what hope do you ever have of scoring a winner? *rolls eyes*
We start with the remaining crew on the bus and Big telling us how hard life on the road is and how Iceland was conquered by the Vikings and "oozes toughness." And if anyone on this show knows tough, it's Big. The contestants ride around on horses and jet skis, and Eric talks about what an amazing country it is.
They get around to recapping the kind of girl Eric doesn't find repulsive, and Jonah expresses his disgust that Jamie would actually have a problem with picking up some Icelandic hooch who would try to steal Eric's stuff the next morning. Go figure. Jamie does go a bit far when she says that Eric is a "pig," and Jonah intones that she got some play of her own. Jamie says that she's "pretty sure Jonah hates me." And John says that the group is resentful that she gets a bit of special treatment because she's the only girl left.
We get a recap of Jamie burping. I guess she does this a lot, and whenever she does it she says "I'm gonna be a diva!" or just "diva!" The guys don't think this is funny, apparently because it's an attempt at humor that doesn't involve offering them sexual favors while wearing tight clothes. Big tells the guys that he expects the guys should have an obligation as men to take care of her. Jonah thinks this is bollocks, big surprise. Christ, it's not like he's asking them to carry her around.
They show the crew training in Iceland, hard. So hard, in fact, that they start doing damage to the ring, to the point where the posts loosen and one of the ropes come loose. Big tells them that they have to fix the ring. Al posits that they can do something about it, "If it's broke, fix it and go on" (Jamie's response: "*BURP* Diva!" There's T-shirt money there, Vince!).
The Icelandic news show up, and Jonah starts going off, cutting a promo about how he's going to win because he's got the charisma (of a goombah), the personality (of a worm), etc. He says that his hero is Bill DeMott, but calls him old. Bill gives him a DEATH LOOK! The guys are goofing around and the trainers don't look happy. Bill not so gently tells him that they were acting like jackasses. He tells the camera that he expects the kids to act like professionals. Now, to be fair, they have been goofing and ribbing the whole time, they were never told to be ultra serious when the news crew showed up.
Back from commercial, we see Jonah and Al going back and forth about how Al can't rib Jonah (HAH!), and Al says that he'll get in Jonah's room and get him. Man, does this douche bag ever learn?!?! Matt talks about how there's a door between Al's room and Jonah's, which spooked him. LOL
They go to eat lobster, and eat heartily, and Eric talks about how they're becoming family...but Jamie still acts too immature of course. Most of these jackasses were the ones who made your life hell in high school folks, take it from me. We see Big talking to Jamie, telling her that she's still going to be treated equally, but she needs to talk to him if she feels uncomfortable or something happens. Fair enough.
The ever so mature Jonah set traps to make sure Al couldn't get into his room. What he didn't count on, of course, was Matt being Al's double agent. Muahahahah! Al sticks an autographed picture on Jonah's pillow, beautiful! LOL The next day, Al innocently talks about missing photos, and Jonah admits that he got him. Bill looks amused beyond all comprehension.
Now they're sailing on a Viking ship. They have to row. Oh, and I looked in the dictionary under "hysterical visual" and it said "Al Snow in chain mail, a cape and a poorly fitting helmet." The rowing is terrible, and as Jonah puts it, "I don't thing we moved an inch." Al: "You're horrible slaves!" Don't I know it! LOLOLOL
That night they go to a Viking restaurant. They have a Medieval Times fight, with the prize being Jamie. They go inside, and they have to eat raw fish, which have apparently been urinated on for flavor. No one is amused, except me. They try anyway and it's like chewing a bike tire. Jonah stashed it in his pockets as a rib. They all smell it, but he denies. He then makes a mistake, saying "Look, I'll get naked if you want!" Do ya think Bill called him on that? Oh yeah! Jonah gets naked, much to the waitress' delight. I'll leave it alone as to why Bill would be so adamant about this.
We cut to the campfire after the meal. Everyone's sitting around and-here it comes-Big asks Jonah "What's the lesson tonight?" Jonah: "Respect man! All that bull$#!+" Oh, MAN! Bill flips out ("This is our life!!!!") and storms off, to a nearby firepit. He is NOT happy, and Jonah looks gets an "I'm screwed" look on his face. Nice job dumbass.
Jonah slinks over to Bill, and offers him a peace brew. Bill doesn't let him off easy, letting him know that this is NOT bull$#!+, and "I got three weeks of work left here. You come with me, -or you stay behind-" They toast and drink, Jonah talks about Bill's "warmer side" (wha?), and Bill offers some words of advice while they drink. Jonah, walks back to the others and Bill stares off for a minute before..."*BELCH* Diva." LOL
Big introduces us to Hjalti Arnason, the 1999 World's Strongest Man (from those ESPN2 contests that involve lifting Buicks and pulling 747s. If you've never seen them, please too, they're too entertaining for words). The castmates to exercises involving lifting and dragging logs, lifting boulders and chopping wood. Eric does really well and enthusiastically, because he's a fan. Jamie struggles a bit at first, but after some advice from Hjalti that involves slapping her in the face, hard, she eventually does ten powerlifts with a really heavy looking barrel thing. Even Jonah seems impressed. Eric and Jonah share the "trophy." (A piece of wood. Yay.)
Now we get the last day of the ring, and, like last season's excursion, we get an exhibition match with some local kids walking. Jonah plays the face "The Big Chooch" (the kids get a "chooch" chant going, God bless 'em), and John plays the heel. They have a good match, which brings a lot of things together for them, and the kids seem to dig it. Al seems very proud. The Chooch wins with a Jim Neidhart powerslam.
Jonah has loaded his shoes with the shark meat. He goes to the front desk with Matt, and gets the key to Al's room. The plan is to throw the shoes in Al's room, but when they open the door, guess who's standing there? Jonah and Matt run "like little girls" (I think Al tipped Matt off). Al is endlessly amused by this and rubs it in. Al decides that now it's time to "get them all" when they get back to LA Uh oh.........
We now see them cliff jumping, off of a waterfall, and all the guys talking about how they were bonding. Even the trainers were jumping. We get a big group hug, and Bill says "I would do that with nobody else." Al says that "game faces have to be on." Well, it's better than the "free the wounded duck" bit last year.
That's if for this week, see you on RAW or Heat next week, for my girl Indigo (good luck babe), this is Greg, fading out.......