|Tough Enough Reunion Show-Writen by Indigo
Hey, all..Here we are again--same time, same station, for the Tough Enough Reunion Wrap Special..The gang is all here--except for Bobbie Jo, who is ready to have a baby any day now, according to the hosts (and I am not even gonna touch that one, at least not yet)---and they have hyped it up to be an interesting night..It is gonna be REAL hard to keep my personal opinions out of it, but I will try...So let's get to it.
They open the show with a gossipy teaser right off the Springer show--cuts of everyone slamming each other, and the familiar opening--now double-cut to include both seasons..Hey, I remember those people!
Our hosts for the evening are Michael Cole, and some MTV 'Generation' type, Brian McFayden. For some reason, they are dressed almost exactly alike..kinda scary..in their khakis, white tees and black shirts (Is this a new 'Boy Band'?).
They welcome us to the show, promising us, 'more trouble than a Thunderdome full of Superstars', blah, blah, blah. I see that Al, Ivory, 'Big', Bob, and Taz are all in attendance, as well. They then introduce all the 'hopefuls' from seasons one and two, and I am thinking, 'What happened to these people?' They then introduce 'Big' and the trainers, then the Winners from both seasons.
Right off the bat, the MTV guy has to stir the pot by asking Jake and Kenny what they thought about 'losing to girls'..Kenny fakes getting up to go after him, and Jake actually shows a little class about it; saying that he is proud of them both, but did actually expect them to pick both a guy and a girl. They then ask Jackie how she felt when Linda's name was called...She replies that she still felt hope for herself and that she wasn't out of it yet. Something just makes me want to wipe that smirk right off her face..(Oops. Sorry. I promised.)..I was hoping Brother Kenny would tell it like it was, but he opted for the PC answer; saying it was a shock, but 'just one of those things'. Aww, Kenny..Linda then says that she almost knocked over her mother's boyfriend in her excitement, and that she was just happy.
MTV Guy then asks both seasons if, since they have not seen each other in a long time, there is anything they want to get off their chests..and Whammo! Alicia the White Trash Princess immediately blares out to Jessie that she saw where Jessie had said that she wanted to slap her..and gives her a free shot..Jessie tells her to grow up. And adds that the previous night, everyone had a good time at 'The World', and that everyone got along..Alicia totally steps in it by saying that that was because she wasn't there..Um..Good comeback...Alicia calls her a drama queen.
They then show a 'Highlight reel' of Season Two. MTV guy calls out Matt about wrestling in a 'thong', and he says that it was the best part of the show..Ivory corrects him, saying that they were, in fact, jock straps..and that there was quite a view..Al: 'It was like going spelunking in a deep, dark cave..'
Highlights are then shown from the first season. MC then says that Tough Enough (1) showed that you had to have it 'here' (pointing to his chest) to make it in the business---and that one of Darryl's biggest problems was that he didn't have the heart. Darryl is shown (minus the stench issue) getting chewed out by Al, and Darryl's only defense is that one of the last questions asked him in his pre-contest interview was whether he wanted to be in the business, or if he just wanted to get on MTV..and he admits that he told them flat-out that he only wanted to get on MTV..and that he didn't really watch wrestling, and essentially didn't care..Well, this causes Taz to just go ballistic on him, calling him all sorts of bleeped out names, saying that he had no respect for the business, and going on about when he dies and they have to fit his 'horrible' body in the coffin, etc...Darryl has the nerve to look shocked, and walks out (We see then that his shirt says, 'Misunderstood'). I TOTALLY understand, as they cut to commercial break, and see that MC is laughing at him..Al comments that 'the dirty laundry just walked out.' Ouch.
When they return, Darryl is back, sitting there looking at the ceiling with tears in his eyes, shaking his head..and they 'take a look back' at life within the lens--and it is basically a montage of people bumping their heads on the cameras and being caught undressed..Rounding up with Pete telling Jackie (in the hot tub, of course) that there 'are no cameras around'..what a wanker. MC chides him for it, and Pete looks mighty pleased with himself. Jackie says that she bought into it because she was drunk..uh huh. The contestants are then asked if there was any one of them that did NOT know what they were getting into. Alicia pipes up again, saying that she hated the cameras..Greg interrupts, saying that it was not a problem for him as the world had already seen 'everything' he had at 'Lucky Chang's', leading us into an obviously prepackaged bit of him stripping. MTV Guy says that, for anyone that didn't know..it is a drag bar. Naturally, Taz asks him how he knows that..you get the picture. Josh (sporting a new 'do' and sunglasses) says that the cameras were no problem, as the contract was top priority. They then segue into Kenny's incident at the Club, and get on him about partying. Good. Leading us to the 'King Kenny of Africa' incident, and Linda pleading not guilty of wanting to see 'what Kenny had'..to gales of laughter..Pete says that the cameras didn't do the incident justice, and that Linda was GAWKING.
Then, the trainers are given their due a bit---and footage of Linda is shown discussing their first meeting..she gets NOBODY'S name right; calling Ivory, 'Ivy', Bob Holly, 'Holiday', and Chavo something completely unintelligible...Chavo says, 'Well, she's cut.', hahah. Quick edit to Al; who, with a completely straight face, says that there used to be two brooms at Trax, but that 'Ivory took one out for a ride last night'...Ivory cracks up. Jacqueline is shown, telling them to call her, 'MISS Jackie', and on and on it goes..rounding up with some heartwarming abuse by Taz and Bob..Al is shown in a more positive light, called the 'father figure' by contestants interspersed with him going, 'Like I'm some OLD MAN.', 'Who's my daddy?', and, (in reference to Bill Cosby), 'I don't wear no G* d*mned ugly sweater!' (I rolled at that last one!)..He then goes on to say that the kids are 'Big's'kids, too--which, 'kinda like makes us married' (shudders), asserting that he is 'the man in the relationship, making 'Big' an awfully ugly woman'...'Big' is shown cracking up, asking the camera if they got that..
The trainers are then asked why they focused on one particular individual--and Bob says that he 'lost his patience' more with Hawk, and that he saw that Hawk 'had a screw loose', and that he wanted to 'corral' his focus and turn him into something. MTV Guy then asks Al about Josh's little dress-up-like-Al incident..and Al says that Josh idolizes him; so much so that it is scary and he has considered getting 'a restraining order'..wondering if Josh is 'stalking him'..Josh just laughs, and when asked why he did that--if it was 'an *ss-kissing thing', Josh says that it was--hahah--but that it obviously didn't work. Al says that it was a contest to see who could get under his skin, and that it worked..The hosts ask if any of the trainers got attached to any 'aspiring superstars'--and Al replies, with a dismissive wave of his hand, that he 'hates them all..', hhaha..
Bob then cuts in, telling Hawk that he needs to tell everyone what he got out of all this---and Hawk, at first gives a lame answer about growing up a little as a person. Bob aint having it, and says no, that is not all. Hawk then says that he went out to Cali to audition for the role of 'Colossus' for 'X-Men Two'---wow! But quickly says that he doesn't know what will come of it. (Go, Hawk!) Al then goes on to say that, the business being as cutthroat as it is; if they didn't push them, didn't test them, that they wouldn't be acting responsibly as trainers. Ivory then addresses Darryl, and referring to his shirt, says that they all 'understood' him more than he knew--and that they basically saved him from a lot of agony in the locker room..and yeah, I have heard the stories..she's right. He still doesn't get it, and sputters something about life being a journey, and that 'you gotta learn'. Well, they journey onwards to the next commercial break.
When they return, they ask what everyone is up to, currently..that is when we find out that Bobbie Jo is currently pursuing stretch marks..heh. They ask is anyone is still pursuing the dream of being a WWE Superstar--and every one of the trainers raises their hands..Al is ribbed about it, haha. No comment. Moving on, we learn that Paulina is with OVW, and that CK is also wrestling 'near his home'; and that Pete recently did a show with Taylor where he wrestled Chris Candido. Victoria wants nothing to do with the business..but has respect for all workers in general.
HHH is shown next, lecturing the kids--and then they show the ones that were cut. Next, they talk to Jason, who says that HHH's speech had an impact on him (in reference to being on the road away from family), and that he left to get married. Shad says that he couldn't handle the pressure of being in the spotlight. And then they come to Hawk--and the trainers again demand a reason. Hawk looks sheepish as he tells them that he had some emotional and psychological baggage going in that he never told anyone..and that 'clinically' he has a 'split personality'--and is, of course, ribbed to the moon for it. Hawk says that he knew the whole time that Bob actually liked him and a montage is shown proving it..Bob interjects that 'if I was in Africa, you wouldn't have went home'. Hawk nods, saying, 'I believe that.'
They then show footage of 'Injury on Parade'..When it is finished, Jackie is once again lauded for her toughness in sticking with it, and it is then pointed out that Matt had much the same injury but LEFT..again, trying to spark something. Matt rises above, saying that he left, rehabbed and got a 3-year developmental contract ANYWAY. Aaron then pops up, talking about 'quote unquote' failing his physical challenge, and footage is shown of that. They rib him to pieces as he tried to downplay it--Al says that, 'There's no 'quote unquote'---You barked your shins, and got taken away to the hospital', then, 'Your skin was like ash!' Aaron shuts up. Al just laughs at him saying, 'I love the way you put a spin on things!' (splat!)
Maven then shows off his cast--and footage is shown of him breaking his leg in that match against Christian..Taz comes on and gives him props. Greg then tells us that his back is better, and that he is wrestling in the Indys. They talk about Jake's conditioning, and ask him if that helped him to prepare. He says that there is really no way to prepare for that, and the bumps they take. He says that, 'They don't call it 'Tough Enough' for nothing.' Well said. Cut to another commercial break.
Back from the break, MTV Guy sets us up for some more Springer-esque action..A montage is shown, highlighting Kenny and Jake going at it verbally (Jake is hilarious), and Harvard and Darryl, as well as Harvard 'bullying' Josh..Alicia is b*tching, Paulina calls Taylor a 'suck-up'..You know, all that great stuff. When that is finished, they call everyone on it..Harvard shows himself to be..um..As the host said, 'You haven't changed, I see..'; but Josh says that they have no problems anymore--it was just living together that did it. Taylor (now with groovy psychedelic hair that matched her eye shadow) denies being said 'suck-up'. Josh gets on her and she tells him, 'Don't even make me start with 'You and Al'...'You and Al'..', hahah. Victoria tried to wiggle out of calling Bobbie Jo 'stupid', but maintains that Darryl is an *sshole..Darryl is then put on the spot again, as they ask him if he is surprised at what his fellows all think of him..He responds that the first two weeks he was sick, and stayed in his room--and that, as as result, no relationships had the chance to form..He and Harvard go at it, and Darryl says that 'None of you people are perfect', yadda, yadda..They then cut that subject off and ask Anni why she stayed out of it all---by design or just personality? She says it was a little of both. Al then asks Alicia if she had problems with Pete and Kenny..bust. She says that yes, she did; and says to Al that he KNEW that she did, that they have 'been talking about it the whole time.' Pete responds by saying that he didn't give a sh*t, that it was just a TV show, but that he didn't appreciate her talking behind others' backs, etc..and she tried to wiggle out of it AGAIN, and I have pretty much had my fill of this crap, to be honest..But no. Next up is the Hormone Thang..and another montage (Is that Jake and Anni kissing? Correct me if I am wrong! Please!), with Taylor showing her (censored) butt on Television, much to Maven's embarrassment; and someone under the covers completely..they never reveal who they are, thank God. When it is over, MTV Guy tries to say that the sheetfest was Maven and Nidia..uh huh. (Of course, they deny it. Get real.)
Naturally, The Hot Tub rears it's ugly head again, with Jackie saying that she regrets it '1,000 percent'(she is shown lying to her boyfriend on the phone), and Pete telling her not 'to toot her own horn' because she's 'not all that'...It gets ugly between them, and Pete (after being busted by lovelorn footage of himself) tells her that 'all his friends at home' told him that he 'did the wrong thing' because she 'is really not that good-looking'..enough already! Commercials save us from any more of this crap..
When they come back, a montage of all the featured Superstars is shown, then Nidia goes on about how hard the life of a Superstar really is. Robert says that he didn't think it would be that much running. Jessie says that she has respect for the wrestlers and reveals that she is now employed by WWE in the Production Department.
MTV Guy then asks opinions on which season was tougher...Pete says that the second season was; as they had Op Fitness, and worked on their trip to south Africa. Harvard comes in and gets all jerkified, asking them all if they did not watch the first season at all---how they could not be prepared for what they had to do, and says that they could have learned from them, but didn't.
Mc then says that they are going to 'settle this once and for all'..by having representatives from each season (picked by Al)--arm wrestle. Jason is picked from season one, and Matt (who has an amazing physique now!), for season two....they go at it, and Matt wins (raising his hand, then kissing the top of Al''s head).
Is it settled 'once and for all'? I certainly hope so..as I could not sit through this again..They plug the upcoming Season Three, and MTV Guy thanks us all for watching..Fade to black.