Al and Mick on Love Line

Al and Mick on MTV's Love Line

February 22, 2000 MTV Love Line There were about 3 callers before Mick and Al came out. Al had that shirt on that we've been looking for. He also had HEAD along.

After Al and Mick come out on stage there is general handshaking between the hosts and the guests. Adam says "I recognize you by your HEAD". Al, Mick and Catherine sit down on the couch and Al says "I think we'll make ourselves a Catherine sandwich".

Adam: oh boy, all right.

Mick: What's back there? Pointing to the big picture of the front cover of Have a Nice Day.

Al: It's his number one best selling book, shameless plug.

Adam: I just saw the biography on A & E on Mick.

Mick: Did you miss the night that Al's ran?

Adam: Yes, I did.

Mick: I think everybody did.

Al: Very funny.

Adam: You guys aren't gonna fight are you? Let's um, you guys are a tagteam, right?

Al: Yea, sure.

Adam: We are gonna roll some of footage of you and Mankind, if you don?t mind.

Al: I'd love that.

- They run the clip from when Al and Mick done the patty cake thing on one of the Holly?s back in December of 1999.-

Mick: I gotta say, when it comes to Al, he suggested that patty cake elbow move and I thought it was the stupidest thing, and...

Al: And I said it's gonna be terrific.

Mick: and we did it and the people went crazy, and I said I apologize to Al.

Adam: by the way, I don't see wrestlers wear ties as much as they used to, that's very nice.

Mick: Well, I broke the mold, you don't see many wrestlers writing best selling autobiographies either.


Mick: The sad thing is, I've been involved in professional wrestling and I've been involved in the world of literature and I can honestly say that the world of literature is a lot faker than the world of professional wrestling ever could be, and I felt I had the need to go out and say, hey, I actually wrote this book myself and I've learned that that is the exception instead of the rule when it come to the world of literature. I wrote every word in this bad boy.

-more applause-

Catherine: all right, very impressive, who would have thought?

Al: Not much about him is impressive.

Adam: all right now,

Mick: Let's go, I wanna help some people.

Al: Yeah.

Adam: o.k., this should be right up your alley.

Al: We have a lot to give, we really wanna help.

Adam: Let?s see who's on the phone here. Mike, where is this? Michigan?

Dr: University of Michigan.

Mike: Here's the situation, a few weeks ago my girlfriend and I made a video, more her choice than mine, and I found out afterwards that she let her roommates find out about it and showed them the video. I don't want to break up with her, but I find going to her house uncomfortable. Everyone's looking at me, staring at me,

Dr: Have you talked to her? Have you talked to her about...

Mike: I told her she totally betrayed me, but I love her to death.

Adam: How big is your penis?

Mike: I'm not gonna say, I'm not huge or anything, but I got, I mean it looked good in the video, I watched it.

` Al: Well, you know they say that the television only adds about 20 pounds.

Adam: Well, you gotta figure it'd only add about 10 pounds to the penis.

Al: o.k.

Catherine: That's still pretty good.

Mike: it looked bigger on video than I thought it really was.

Al: So what's the problem? That's my question.

Mike: You know, I go over there and they're laughing and I just feel like I've been betrayed.

Mick: You know, I, if it was me and my wife took a nude photograph of me, it'd look like I was holding a tic-tac in my fingers.

Al: I still don't see where the problem is. Where is the betrayal, seems as though she's doing you a favor.

Dr: Mike, you've got 2 choices here. One is to not go over to her house and two, discontinue the relationship.

Mick: and 3, take advantage and start hammering some of those roommates..

Dr. End the relationship, don't go to the friends house.

Mick: I think he just wants to get on this show.

Catherine: I totally agree.

Al: I don't think you sound like you're that upset, especially since you look larger on the video than what you expected, you are now Peniszilla of the porno movies.

Dr: The pieces don?t fit together here, he's got it together, a very intuitive guest.

Adam: Peniszilla? I rented that. A giant penis crushes Tokyo.

Dr: I'm just afraid of what's gonna happen to Pokemon.

Adam: Luckily ah...

Mick: Good one Doc.

Adam: it ends with Sac-ara flying in and crushing Peniszilla, all right, Stacey?

Stacey: the problem is that my boyfriend and I were working on a project together and there was a girl working on the project with us, and she didn't know that were dating and she told my boyfriend that she was attracted to me. I talked to her about it and explained that it would be very awkward because I had a boyfriend and she asked if I'd be willing to do a threesome with her and my boyfriend. My question is should I do the threesome and if so, do I let my boyfriend and her have sex, or do I tell him that he could only have sex with me? Because I think that I would be jealous if they actually had sex together.

Dr: I don't understand you went from working with this person to let's have a threesome?

Stacey: We were working on a project together and she didn't know that we were dating and she told him she was attracted to me. It really wasn't a working environment, it was like a school project.

Al: Let me ask you, how involved are you with your boyfriend emotionally?

Stacey: Very involved.

Al: Ah! You see, I would assume if you're that involved with him that I think it would probably be a negative for you to bring another person into your relationship.


Dr: There you go.

Adam: A wrestler.

Mick: I know.

Al: but, but you could join up with the other guy and make a movie.

Mick: Hey Al...

Al: and I'm sure you could make a ton of money.

Mick: I know that you guys didn't book wrestlers on the show to say things that actually made sense.

Adam: No I love that.

Mick: My feeling is that threesomes are a dangerous thing and much better kept in your head, in your own little fantasy mind, or else the world of pornography.

Adam: or Nevada, one of three places you can do it and not get into trouble. It'll destabilize the relationship and you'll get angry with each other.

Catherine: How would you dictate to each other, you can do this but you can't do that?

Dr: Let's get into the real

Mick: I feel if there's any emotional involvement then you'd better stay away from them.

Dr: Relationships do not survive threesomes.

Al: If you don't care about your boyfriend and only care about the sex, then go right ahead. If you care about the relationship, then you're gonna have a lot of problems.

Mick: and if you really want a threesome, me and Al are here. I don't think my wife is watching Loveline.

Adam: Wait'll you see the twist they put on the patty cake maneuver, you could lose any eye. Hannah is on the phone, Hannah, what's your problem?

Hannah: I lost my virginity at 13 and I've been having sex with just about everybody. At this point in my life..

Al: Hannah, how old are you?

Hannah: Nineteen.

Al: o.k.

Hannah: at this point in my life, guys don't see me as their girlfriend, just as the one who got them off last night. This has brought my count of guys to about 30, I've been known to have sex on the first date, and I've even been known to hit it within the first hour of knowing someone. I know my sex drive is out of control.

Al: I think Mankind wants your phone number.

Hannah: Well, I'd give it to him.

Mick: We're going to Albany on December 5...

Adam: O.k., we're gonna have to take a little break and we'll get to the bottom of this when we return...

-commercial break-

Adam: We're back on Loveline with Mick, Mankind Foley and Al Snow, from the WWF which is part of Smackdown on UPN. It's consistently getting a rating of 5 or something like that.

Dr: For that time period.

Adam: Which is like, totally crazy, crazy rating.

Mick: UPN has like a flagship show. You're supposed to applaud when I say that.


Al: Yeah.

Mick: Thank you.

Adam: Move over Aisha(sp?)

Mick: Thank you.

Adam: we will now get back to Hannah who lost her virginity at 13, is 19 now, has been with 30 guys since, and is sort of non-stop sexually, Hannah? Hannah: Well, I just want some sort of transition, you know, I want to know how to have a relationship from going from being out of control to having a relationship, I mean the ones I've had have been so screwed up, that..

Adam: What'd your dad do to you?

Hannah: Nothing, my dad's like the best guy in the world.

Adam: Then stop pissing him off by screwing all these guys, I mean, that's gotta be a slap in the face.

Dr: Hannah, can you stop?

Hannah: I've tried.

DR: O.K., what addictions are all about are wanting to stop something and not being able to. Either you can stop or you can't and if you can't you're addicted. Those kinds of behavior you are manifesting are either sexual addition or sexual compulsion, which we treat pretty much the same, sexual addiction per se, is seen in the setting of other addictions, is there any alcoholism in your family?

Hannah: My, my grandfather, but not my parents or...

Dr: O.K., and do you have any momentum with substances also?

Hannah: um, no more than the usual alcohol.

Al: Do you have self esteem problems?

Dr: Yea, you really drink a lot?

Hannah: when I drink.

Dr: The probability is here that this is more of a manifestation of your addiction, your addictive chemistry, plus this sort of need to feel better about yourself, and......

Al: I was gonna say, it sounds like she's got a real problem with self-esteem, she needs to feel loved and needs attention.

Catherine: And it needs to be instant gratification.

Hannah: That's it, instant gratification.

Dr: Women need...

Adam: That's me, I can give you instant..

Dr: You'd mean within the hour.

Catherine: she means that she's leading these guys into one hour relationships and then she's had sex with them.

Dr: It makes her feel great for the moment and then she's feeling less well about herself and tries to forget those feelings. Women come to these kinds of behaviors through love and intimacy addictions which you try to get through the sexual activities, which isn't? going to get it. If you can't stop, it has to be treated, then you need to see someone about it. If you're open to a 12 step approach, the SA has exactly what they're designed to do, which is to treat people like you, who need professional help. You're putting yourself in harms way, you're putting yourself at risk of STD's, HIV, and pregnancy and God knows this is not helping the situation, by feeling bad about yourself and hour can't stop. You need to take care of it, you need to get help.

Adam: O.K., what do you want Drew to say?

Mick: Can we get a fun questions? That was really sad.

Catherine, ok, wait a minute, can you pull up a fun question there?

Adam: Let me make this observation, when women have this, they can do as much of it as they want. A guy, I could be sexually addicted, I don't know. I can't get laid. You know what I'm saying? I can't sleep with a woman in the first hour, I can't rack up those numbers. If a man is sexually addicted, it costs him a lot of money.

Al: Yes, but if you're a basketball player..


Adam: Think about it, it's the 900 numbers, the prostitutes, massage parlors., the guy is gonna rack up a lot of bills.

Dr: One of the ways to define or assess sexual addiction is by how much money you've spent, or what kinds of legal problems have resulted from the sexual behavior. Women do it for free.

Al: That's not fair, is it?

Adam: What we need to do is pair them up. Put the guy who would be spending his hard earned dollar on the prostitute, save that money and hook him up with the women who...

Catherine: and then call Love Connection.

Al: Exactly, there would be some sort of sex shelter or something, we should start something like that.


Catherine- sex shelter for nymphos.

Al: Exactly, I think that this is a need that's time has come, we need to address that situation for society.

Catherine: the WWF and Nympho Society?

Al: Mankind would be the curator..

Adam: All right, we have Robert up next.

Mick: O.K., Robert, a fun question.

Dr: Robert

Robert: I've been having sex with my girlfriend for about three (inaudible) months now and sex is great.

Al: Three nights straight?

Robert: but um...

Adam: Three months or three nights?

Robert: three months, and I've been prescribed Dexedrine (sp?) For ADHD, and it helps me a lot in school and everything, but my friends said that it can cause impotence in the future and...

Dr: You mean that you're having no problems now, but you're concerned that sometime in the future, sometime in your adulthood, that your use of Dexedrine now is gonna cause problems?

Robert: Yeah

Dr: I don't know where that come from. You can sometimes suppress sexuality now, but if you're not having that side effect, forget it, you have nothing to worry about.

Robert" it's not anything to worry about?

Dr: it's definitely nothing to worry about.

Adam: How are you functioning now?

Robert: um, great.

Dr: Yeah.

Adam: You are? O.K., anything that's not broke, don't fix.

Dr: just follow the directions.

Adam: and don't listen to your friends, please. There are more screwed up friends giving more screwed up advice, in this society. You listen to me, or um, Mick or Al, or, or Satan, but not your friends. That's the message I'm trying to get across.

Al: or follow my advice and just talk to a mannequin head.


Dr: Kimberly, Kimberly?

Kimberly: Oh, oh, I've been married for three years and me and my husband like at first we used to make love like every day, except when I'm on my period of course...

Mick: That's just an excuse.

Kimberly: Now he, he used to be real passionate and now he's not like he used to be, he's not into it, he even feel asleep one time, I was on top of him. I think it's because I'm not as tight as I used to be, I think making love every day has made me kind of loose.

Al: Have you had any children?

Kimberly: Yeah.

Al: How many?

Kimberly: three.

Al: How old are you?

Kimberly: Twenty-two.

Adam: Wow, 22, O.K., Drew knows a lot about the vagina, He's seen over three in his lifetime and he'll explain the loosening process when we get back.

-commercial break-

Adam: All right, we're back Hey Drew, tell Mick to be quiet will ya? Mick Mankind Foley and Al Snow from the WWF, Mick has himself a book out, Have a Nice Day.

Mick: A number 1 bestseller, I gotta admit, I?m on this show maybe because I'm a best selling author, but unfortunately

Al: I think it's because we did that cool move. Mick: because this book is my autobiography there's not a whole lot of sexual content in there.

Al: actually, there is a lot of jokes in it, you making them about me.

Mick: I made something like seventy-eight Al Snow jokes.

Al: regarding penises and other things.

Adam: Mick, you're a big guy, I guess you were a big guy in high school, and what people don't know you know, how they're always talking about the captain of the football time and stuff, but big guys don't get laid much in high school.

Mick: I think big guys, well at least in this case, this big guy didn't get laid at all.

Adam: I don't know what it is, later on women seem to like the big guys, it seems though in high school the Keith Partridge guys were the ones that got laid a lot.

Al: The cutesy cutesy guys, I'm finding that you were a big guy?

Adam: I payed football and I didn't get laid at all.

Al: Well, I didn't play football and I didn't get laid at all either, football is just a support group. Yea, I think we should start one of those too.

Mick: When I was in college and I was wrestling I was on TV on a weekly basis and I still didn't get laid. I don't understand, I'm a pretty charming conversationalist, I think.

Catherine: Maybe you weren't using those charming skills until now?

Al: And a good hugger.

Adam: All right, Now Kimberly is on the line, what the hell is up? She's had three kids, her guy is, the bloom is off the rose as they say, the sex and the relationship she things, she's loosened up and that's why her husband is falling asleep.

Mick: Can I ask Kimberly a question?

Kimberly: Yes.

Mick: Has your guy ever insinuated that you're too loose?

Kimberly: No, he says I'm just fine.

Dr: Kimberly, I've been doing this show for eighteen years or something like that,

Adam: including radio

Dr: yeah, and no male has ever had that complaint, no male has ever made that comment about his girlfriend, that she's too loose.

That's just some weird concern that women have.

Kimberly: Well, I can feel it, you know?

Dr: Kimberly, I understand it feels different, but that's not something that men are concerned with, O.K.?

Kimberly: But he's not as passionate.

Dr: Then something is wrong with the relationship, something is wrong there.

Mick: I find the more rewarding friendship in a marriage a lot better than the hot sex.. I think that hot sex and fighting go hand in hand. I'd gladly trade in the hot sex for a happy relationship, which I have

Dr: Right.


Kimberly: Well, we get along great.

Adam: I agree with Mick and you can always get the hot sex on the road, what do you need to bring that home for?

Kimberly: is there any kind of surgical procedure that can be done to tighten me up?

Dr: That has nothing to do with it. I'm telling you that has nothing to do with it.

Catherine: What else is going on in this marriage? What else.

Dr: Something is wrong in the relationship.

Mick: Can I talk medically here for a second Kimberly?

Adam: Mankind has another book coming out.

Mick: Did you have what they, what is it? An episiotomy?

Kimberly: No, I had my children, I didn't need an episiotomy. I didn't need to

Al: Kimberly, I think you're missing the point here. I don't think it's a matter of how loose you are, it shouldn't matter if you can drop a pumpkin through there.

Adam: Al

Al: I'm sorry, it's not about that as much as it's about the emotional situation and the relationship.

Kimberly: Can I tell you what he says?

Al: please

Kimberly: He says it's taken him five years to get it the way he wants it.

Dr. and Al: Get what? Get what the way he wants it?

Al: Is he molding it like clay or something?

Adam: Your pumpkin patch?

Kimberly: yeah.


Adam: Wow. It's taken him five years?

Catherine: How did you take that?

Dr: What does it mean?

Al: A work in progress.

Catherine: And does it mean your pumpkin patch?

Kimberly: Excuse me?

Dr: Kimberly, you're all screwed up, you gotta get back on track here, I don't mean you're a screwed up person, I mean your thinking is screwed up. I should say it may be something simple like he's tired.

Kimberly: Well, he works a lot.

Dr: Right he's tired, you have three kids now, there's a lot to divert him away from the intimacy and the physical aspect of your relationship its normal for things to go down to one or two times a week. That's the normal case for a married couple with three kids. You have to realize that there's a lot of responsibilities and a lot of demands on his time, if you feel like he is pulling away from you, then there's something to worry about. There is nothing mechanically wrong here.

Adam: I mean, please, you're a mother of three now, read a book or something, c'mon, plus she's gonna resent the kids. These three little jaws of life come along and screwed up our sex life?

Al: Screwed up the pumpkin patch.

Adam: That's right.

Mick: Can I make a suggestion?

Al: opened the door wide open.

Mick: If she's gonna read a book, I can recommend a good one.

Adam hands Mick his book.

Mick: If you are gonna read any book, this ones got a lot of good advice in there.

Catherine: a lot of sexual advice in there.

Adam: a whole section on pumpkins.

Mick: can I say that I think I set the literary record for referring to my penis as my little buddy the most times. Seven little buddy references.

Catherine: You've set the world record.

Mick: Why doesn't anyone love my little buddy? That's what I used to think.

Catherine: Aw, are you O.K.?

Mick: Everything's find now. I've got a beautiful wife, I mean a beautiful wife, so I get the last laugh.

Catherine: Really.

Adam: O.K., Mel is twenty-four and on the phone next. Mel, what's your problem?

Mel: Um, about a year ago I began to notice these growths in and around my breasts, and I tried to pick them off, they bled. Some of them look like moles. They had there. There's about twenty to twenty-five of them.

Dr: Are you dark skinned?

Mel: No

Dr: O.K.

Mel: They make me feel really uncomfortable when I take my shirt off in front of my husband.

Dr: Are they between the breast?

Mel: They're between and around the bra line.

Dr: Why don't you have them taken off? They'll come off like nothing.

Mel: Well, when I tried to pick them off.

Dr. No, go to a dermatologist, he can take them off in just a few minutes.

Mick: A dermatologist will pick them off.

Catherine: Dry ice or...

Dr: They'll use liquid nitrogen or electricity and boom, they come off.

Catherine: It doesn't hurt and they don't scar or anything.

Dr: Yeah.

Mel: I don't want to go through any pain.

Catherine: It's not painful, it's just like a pinch or a prick, it's not gonna hurt.

Adam: Listen to her, she's had it done.

Catherine: I have, I have had laser surgery, and had a mole removed and they used dry ice and it falls off just like a scab, it's nothing, I mean every woman has gone through some pain in her life, so....

Mick: You owe it to your man to get those breasts cleared up.

Catherine: She owes it to herself. You owe it to yourself.

Mick: If you want him to take a ride on your milk wagons, you need to get rid....

Catherine: Eeewwww

Mick: I'm trying to be cool. I'm giving so much sappy advice. I'm trying to make up for the fact that I've been a little sappy. The guys want me to be cool, they're gonna laugh at me in the dressing room.

Catherine: Sappy is good.

Al: They laugh at us in the dressing room anyway.

Dr: Dark skinned people are more likely to get these sorts of things. They're very common.

Adam: So go to the dermatologist.

Dr: Any doctor can do it.

Adam: Ashley?

Ashley: Yes.

Adam: Ashley, what's up?

Ashley: Um, me and my boyfriend have been dating for about six months and I love him a lot, but last weekend he went out of town and me and his best friend we went out drinking and we slept together and now, like everything is weird. This guy, he keeps wanting to talk about the other night. He's sent me roses, and I just want to forget about it, but then, I mean, I don't want my boyfriend to find out, I mean, I don't want it to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend, and I don't know what to do.

Adam: Can you pull the guy aside that you has sex with and tell him to like, keep it down? That it'll kill him if he finds out and it will cause irreparable damage?

Ashley: It's scary because I think he's friend might (inaudible).

Mick: I think it's a little too late to worry about hurting feelings.

Adam: We gotta take a break, we'll be back with Ashley.

-Commercial break-

Camera zooms in on HEAD, then Al's talking to them.

Adam: All right, Mick Mankind Foley and Al Snow are here from the WWF.

Al: Sharing a lot of love.

Mick: I'm showing off my family portrait.

Catherine: This is a good respectable looking family. Look at his daughter, she's so beautiful.

Adam: Those are actors.

Al: I want to point out that I have a lovely wife and 2 beautiful children too.

Catherine: So where's the picture?

Al: I don't have a family picture with me because I didn't write a number one bestseller, so

Catherine: Soon to come.

Al: Soon to come, yeah, eventually.

Mick: Al's coming out with a pamphlet, one page, the best of Al Snow.

Adam: We left off with Ashley who slept with her boyfriend best friend while the boyfriend was out of town, now the best friend is kinda hot on her. It's getting weird because they go out together.

Al: Can I ask Ashley a questions though? Ashley, are you still sending signals out to this other guy that you're interested? Are you leading him on in any way?

Ashley: When he calls I don't answer the phone, I keep checking the caller ID and everything. He's sent me a dozen roses, he leaves me letters at my door, and I don't want my boyfriend to find

Al: and you're doing nothing to warrant this attention?

Catherine: Ashley did the deed.

Al: Well, yeah.

Catherine: obviously you have decided this guy isn't as cool as your boyfriend and now that you've slept with him and instigated it

Mick: I don't know, let's compare the boyfriends.

Catherine: Shall we?

Mick: Ashley, are you still attracted to this friend?

Ashley: Yeah.

Mick: I'm talking about physical

Ashley: Physical? Yeah, but I love my boyfriend.

Mick: Yeah, do you find yourself wanting to be with this other man?

Ashley: Yeah, he's cute.

Mick: I, there's no future in this relationship. Youre lying to your boyfriend and the longer you put it off the more he's gonna hate you when he does find out. He's gonna feel like you made him look like a fool.

Adam: Yeah, Mick's right. I mean how in love with your boyfriend are you when you're hanging around with his best friend?

Dr: A common thing I see with this type of behavior in women when the boyfriend leaves town is, well, did your mom leave you when you were young or any traumatic..

Ashley: My dad died.

Dr: Yeah, see that's a common thing, these women can't handle it when someone they are attached to does away. They feel like they gotta do something. They don't know how to handle their feelings and they act out. It's a common pattern that manifests out there.

Mick: How old are you Ashley?

Dr: She's eighteen.

Al: You're very immature too Ashley.

Adam: Hey, I've come up with a new wrestling character for you Drew. You're always looking for a new angle, a new gimmick, you guys have taken the physical side of wrestling just about as far as it can go. You're in a cage, jumping off turnbuckles, but what about the emotional side? Drew, Drew actually paralyzes his opponents with love advice?......

Your Webmaster:Well right here the tape at Maggie's house gets cut of,Maggie tells me theres about 5 minites of missing show...but you get the just of the show

credit for this goes to staff member Maggie

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