HEAD's Novel page 3

Chapter5.ECW HEAD

HEAD:SO I told Al"WE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS!So we tried and tried to have meetings with Vince and we tried to quit,but they would'nt let us,so I told Al "ASK VINCE IF WE CAN GO WRESTLING IN ECW!"Vince not knowing what to do loaned us to ECW!

HEAD:One night in ECW Blue Meanie came to Al with a styrofoam head and gave it to Al,thats when I told myself"I NEED TO HELP AL MORE!I NEED TO BE SOMETHING HE CAN NOT ONLY HEAR BUT SEE ALSO!

HEAD:So I sent my river of knowlage into the styrofoam head and now me and Al could come out to the matches together and I could sit at ringside and tell Al what to do,and the fans loved me and chanted HEAD! HEAD! HEAD!

HEAD:Everyone started to love me and Al except Shane Douglas the ECW champion,it was driving Shane crazy all this stuff about me the head after Al had pinned him at a PPV.Shane got madder and madder and challenged us to a match at Wrestleplooza!

HEAD:Me and Al thought this was it,this was the big time,this was our night to win a championship belt!

HEAD"But it was not to be,Vince seeing that the fans loved us,wanted us back in the WWF,we lost at Wrestleplooza and headed back to the WWF only to get screwed again!

Chapter6.Painting the House with the J.O.B.Squad

HEAD;So we took some time off to heal,and I told Al"sale the gym,we dont have time for it anymore,so we did and we sat around all the rest of Summer into fall

HEAD:We played around a little in Music City Wrestling but I couldnt understand Berts idea of becomeing Honey Love so we headed back to the WWF

HEAD:We had a little talk with Vince and told him we wanted to start the J.O.B.Squad,Vince wasnt sure where to go with it so we went and had a talk with Too Cold and Bob Holly,they liked the idea,but I though we could go one better and bring in the biggest jobber of all time,Duane Gill

We figured we would get a little push if Duane was to win the lightweight belt

Which he did and we took the Blue Meanie from ECW and we had him do drive by's so that he would not loss the belt

Chapter7.Golden Blood Baths

HEAD:And it was good untill the Brood started to get in the way and gave Al a blood bath,I told Al to watch out for them but he never listens to me!

HEAD:Then I became friends with Goldust and Goldust kidnaped me from Al,and I'll tell you that Goldust is one odd dude,some of us more then others like Goldust and the others wanted back with Al so we had our good buddy BlueDust get us back with Al,but at road shows Goldust keeps fighting for us but ol Al just gives Goldust HEAD!But Goldust gets even by giving Al the Shattered dreams,Al says that hurts alot,poor Al.

Chapter8.Doing it the Hard Way

HEAD:Then we started having Hardcore matches against Roaddog and it was great at first untill that damn Roaddog stabed us in the back....we will get him,trust me

HEAD:Then that damn Roaddog Ran away from us so that we had to wrestle that damn Bob Holly for the Hardcore belt at the P.P.V.,and we wrestled Bob down to the banks of the Mississippi,but he cheated and wraped Al up in wire fencing that was just laying there to win the Hardcore belt,its Roaddogs fault that we had to do the J.O.B. to B.O.B.at the P.P.V.

HEAD:After that Bob became Hardcore Holly,and with Too Cold gone,and Duane being repackaged as Gillberg,and the Meanie thinking Goldust was his Mother,the J.O.B. Squad pretty much just melted away into nothing

HEAD:At road shows before Wrestlemania Al has had matches against that damn Bob,but somehow he keeps winning to retain that Hardcore belt.....damn you Bob....damn you!

Chapter9.How to Understand a Stuffed Deer HEAD

HEAD:So i keep telling Al"Don't worry that belt will be yours sooner then you think,and low and behold at the next P.P.V. against Holly,I pined Holly after Al knocked him into a table,making me the Hardcore champ,I then put it in Hollys head to kidnap me so that I could keep that Hardcore belt,but that damn Holly did'nt understand and beat on Al and told Al he would never get me back unless Al gave Holly a title shot,in the mean time Al looking for some spiritual guidence trys to find it in a Deer HEAD,everyone knows you can't understand a Deer,all they say is "Errrrrrrr"...Al thinks we stabbed him in the back,we'll see,we'll see

HEAD:Al kidnapped me back from Bob who tryed to make us look stupid by saying that Al must have a match with me and win,only then would Al be Hardcore champ,and that evil Bob was even the ref,So we had the match and Al beat on me bad but in the end it was that damn Pierre the Deer HEAD that pined me to become Hardcore champ

Goofy Bob did;nt know what to do,so he took poor Pierre and beat the stuffing out of him,Al was upset and tryed to get the WWF Dr to help poor Pierre but it was too late,Pierre had gone to Deer HEAD heaven,Al angery at Holly told Al he would wrestle Holly at the Over the Edge PPV in a title match,Al tossed Holly through a table to retain the Hardcore belt

HEAD:Then Al wrestled many matches on the road against Holly and Blackman and would always win,and it got to be that nobody would wrestle Al because they thought he was crazy,so I made the Minis sign a contract to wrestle him,those evil minis used Salad Tongs on Al and hurt his butt

HEAD:Then that cross dresser Droz wrestled Al in an evening gown match,but once again Al was the winner

HEAD:"AHHHHHHHHH!!!! I have been spiked!Oh we have a headache,damn that Prince Albert hammered a rail road spike into our head,and Al feels our pain and needs someone any one to take away the pain

Chapter 10.You Want Fries With that Pepper Steak?

HEAD:So we have a match on Raw against Boss Man who we ask to take away our Pain,but all Boss Man did was hand cuff Al to the ring in Hard time fashion,damn him!

HEAD:So we put thoughts into Vinces head for us to have a match at the July 1999 Fully Loaded PPV,but Vince put us up against The Boss Man again,and with a headache Al asked Boss Man to stop the pain,we did every thing we could to make Boss Man give us Hard Time,we even tossed hot coffee on him

Boss Man didn't have the guts to take away the pain,but hand cuffed Al to a fence to win the Hardcore Belt....oh the pain,the pain!!!!

HEAD:Next thing I know we are just seating there and this Dog comes up to Al and it starts talking to Al,and Al stops listoning to us,We start to wonder if after all this time if our work is done

HEAD:So Al thinks this Dog,this little Pepper,this little Taco is going to help him win the Hardcore belt back from Bossman at SummerSlam....we will see,we will

HEAD:So Al and I have a talk and we tell Al that our work is done and that he should go on without me,Al cryed but I told Al to"grow up!"it's time for you to become a man!"

HEAD:Off Al went to SummerSlam without me,he tried to get that damn dog Pepper to go to the ring with him but Pepper was too chicken,so off Al went to the ring,Al and the Bossman battled outside the arena and into a bar where with help from Roaddog and a night stick to the Bossmans back,Al pined Bossman to win back the Hardcore belt,later as Al is making his way back to the arena he finds Stevie Richards and the Blue Menie trying to jump start Pepper

HEAD:Next thing you know on the very first Smackdown Bossman Shoooots to Al that he wants a title shot,Al takes Bossman up on the offer,not to smart on Al's part as Ray beats Al to win the Hardcore Belt,not only that but Bossman kidnapes Pepper later to Boot

HEAD:Al all upset makes little posters of the missing Pepper,later Ray shoooots to Al that he will give Pepper back to Al if Al will meet him in his Motel room,Al shows up and wants Pepper back,Ray tells Al that that is what he is tring to do,Ray asked Al to have a seat cuz he has made Al supper,Al didn't want Supper,he wanted the damn dog back,so anyway,Ray sets a plate of food in front of Al to eat,looked like Beef and noodles,so Al takes a bite,little did Al know but he was eating Pepper,Bossman had deep fried the little dog

HEAD:Al freaked and lost his mind,first he thought he was Avatar,then he thought he was Leif Cassidy,Bossman was shoooting in the ring that he could take on anybody,so who should come down the ramp but the Bulldog,he beats Bossman for the belt just like that,out comes Al dressed as Leif,Al take a note he has writen and shoves it into Bossmans mouth as he lay on the mat,Al then made his way up the ramp,the Bulldog is a good boy and gave the Hardcore belt back to Al

HEAD:Al now wanted to get even so Al came up with an idea,why not get even with Bossman by scaring him with some mean evil looking doggies.So Al went out and got himself 6 big Rottweilers

HEAD:Al and Bossman then had a Pepper on a Poll match in which the remines of Pepper were in a doggie bag on a stick,Bossman was just about to win the match when out come the evil Rottweilers,well Bossman tossed the bag across the ring and Al got it,Al later made a nice little grave for Pepper and layed him to rest

HEAD:Al comes up for an idea for a match to get even,how about a cell within a cell match with the big bad doggies around the ring for the Unforgiven PPV,Bossman takes Al up on it and it turns out to be the worst match this HEAD has ever seen,the dogs didn't care and the Bossman made Al look bad

HEAD:Next thing you there a 3 way dance for the Hardcore belt,Al vs Bossman vs Big Show,poor Al gets slammed into a table by Big Show,Bossman beaned Big Show with the night stick,rolled Big Show over to get the pin,Bossman wins the Hardcore belt AGAIN!

Chapter11.Which way to the Executive Washroom?

HEAD:Al moved on and up the ranks,Al has a couple of matches where he used a bowling ball to get the pin,my idea,Al then had a match with Val Venis,and then the greatist thing happened,Al got a title shot with Hunter,it was a great match up but everyone know Al was going to loss,but Al was happy with the match

HEAD:I told Al he should give old Mankind a break and forgiving him for the shots earlyer in the year,even tho Mick made fun of Al in his book I told Al that now would be a great time for them to work together,so as Mick was having a match Al ran in and gave him Socko,Mick was pleased with Al and they became a tag team,and in November of 1999 they beat the Hollys for the Tag team belts,we drank alot of milk!But it didn't last long as we lost the belt some dys later to the New Age Outlaws

HEAD:Around the same time we became famous world wide when Al's action figure with little me HEAD's in the packaging were pulled from the shelves of Wal-Mart stores,which all started when there was a Article writen in the Atlanta Joural Consitiution by two professers from Kennesaw State University,Ms.Katherine Kinnick and Sabrena Parton titled "Gruesome toy sends wrong message to kids",they wrote about us like we were a real Womans head and that we were evil for kids to play with,we were even writen about in Time Magazine and talked about on the Dr.Laura radio show,this all made Al very sad

HEAD:Mick tried to cheer Al up and we went on vacation to Vegas,we went on some rides and played the slot machines,and went to a nudie bar,this still didn't cheer up Al,Mick had found that the Rock hadn't tossed his book in the garbage so Mick made up with him,Al was every upset and couldn't understand why Mick was brown noseing Rock,Al told Mick that he hated the Rock but Mick was sure that Al was just being silly

HEAD:We then got invited to do a commercial for Hasbro and their game"Ballzerko",which was pretty fun,but when we got back to the WWF Mick had changed,he wanted us to like the Rock,but we know that the Rock was just pulling Mick's chain and we tied to tell Mick that the Rock was just using him,but Mick didn't care because he figured that the fans loved the Rock and Sock team and as Mick put it the team of Al and Mick sucked!

HEAD:That did it,there was nothing left for us to do but to turn on Mick,we were the ones that tossed Micks book in the garbage because it was a piece of crap with all the bad Al Snow jokes in it,Mick asked for it as did the Rock,we hate the Rock!,we hate the Rock,we hate the Rock.....

HEAD:Then came the McMahon Hunter work where good old Steph back stabed old Vince and "married" Triple H,they first gave Al a shot at that no good friend Mike Foley,before the match I told Al to go ask D-X for some help,little did we know but as we took Mike to the back of the arena and to the D-X dressing room that the Rock had changed the name on the door so that it was his locker room and not that of D-X which Al had thought,the Rock decked Al as he entered the room and tossed Al out the door and Mike got the pin....we hate the Rock....we hate the Rock

HEAD:Then Huter and Steph were nice enough to give me a shot at the Rock in a Brama Bull rope match,Al was beating the tar out of the Rock,but just to be safe I sent the Outlaws down to help,Billy was good enough to give the Rock the Famouser and Al rolled Rock over and got the pin

HEAD:But those stinkers Steph and Hunter then set Al up in a cage match with the Rock in which Al did the J.O.B......we will get the Rock....oh yes we will,or so we thought

Suddenly out of the blue Steph and Hunter had it in their minds for us to take out Jeff Hardy,and if Al did he would get a bonus,well Al tried twice and both times failed,Al was then tossed into tag team matches where he found he could trust no one


HEAD:On the internet fans started complaining about Al's program in the WWF,fans begain to wonder if someone within the WWF was not picking on Al settng him up into bad programs,they hoped something good was soon to come

HEAD:Soon Al and I were looking for someone we could trust to join us in a tag team,now who better then Steve Blackman we thought,he as no personalitie and Al has tones,so we had a tag match and we won,so now we needed a name for our tag team,We thought of dressing Steve up like Count Daracula....ie HEAD COUNT,but Blackman hated IT,so we thought,well since Steve is like Wisconsin(you know..real cheesie) how about HEAD CHEEZE!!!!,the fans loved it first thing and would chant"HEAD CHEEZE!!!!...."HEAD CHEEZE"

HEAD:So we re-named Steve "Lethal Cheddar",and the more the fans would chant"HEAD CHEEZE....HEAD CHEEZE",the more upset Cheddar would become,we begain to try to change Cheddar by changing our theme song,by having the Cheddar dance in the ring,but that only got him pined,and that she Devil Terri came down to the ring and put on a cheese hat,that got Chadder pined again

HEAD:So we figured we would get the Cheddar a date,Al set Cheddar up with a real nice girl from his therapy class,who had a pet Guppy named Sam,and she just loved the Cheddar...and she wouldn't shut up, and the Cheddar ran away.....

HEAD;So we figured we would try other ways to get Cheddar to lighten up,we had him meet his one and only fan,who even got to get his photo taken with Cheddar,but when Al's back was turned Cheddar smacked his one and only fan right in the guts,we had Cheddar meet our little Marian friend and Ben Franklin,but nothing seemed to help

HEAD:Then we went on a road trip to Farmer Ted's barn where we tried to teach Cheddar how to milk a cow,which only ended in Cheddar getting a face full of milk and the poor cow getting a beating

HEAD:We then went on a trip to the old folks home,we even wrote Cheddar some good jokes to tell the old folks,but even the old folks thought that Blackman sucked,he even tried to beat up an 80 year old woman with his cheeze sticks

HEAD:This went on till Easter 2000,we told Steve that since he didn't like the name"HEAD CHEEZE,we could use the name Snow Bunnies,we even had a nice little bunny suite for Cheddar to wear,Cheddar got very very angery at Al and told him"no more messing around!",I told Al maybe we should lay off a little but noooooooooo,Al ran into Harvey Whippleman and dressed him in the Bunny suite and had him come down to the ring after we lost the match,Cheddar went psycho and turned on Al and beat the snot out of him,needless to say that was the end of HEAD CHEEZE......that Cheddar was a part pooper anyway

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