Al on Outside The Ropes

Al Snow – Outside The Ropes on Confidential 9/6/03

  Al is being interviewed by Lance Storm and Goldust is the director.

  Goldust:  Lance, I know you can do this.  Let's roll now!  Quiet please!!

Lance:  Alright.  Welcome to Outside the Ropes.  I'm Lance Storm.  My guest – Al Snow.  Al, we have ten questions for you.

Al:  Ok. Hit it.

Lance:  Ready?

Al:  Yeah.

Lance:  Does it get under your skin that Mick Foley still tells Al Snow jokes?

Al:  It bothers me a little bit but, uh, I think he's obsessed with me.  I think he has sexually repressed fantasies about me or something because otherwise why would he continue talking about me.

Lance:  You also have a unique relationship with Bob Holly.  In fact, you had your differences on Tough Enough.

Goldust:   No, no, no, no, no!!! Little more enthuuuuuu…siasm, please!! Thank you.  Keep rolling!!

Lance:  Do those differences stem back to the days of the Job Squad?

Al:  No, not at all.  Bob's just a bully and, you know,  a hard-ass.  He has his way and I have mine. 

Lance:  You have problems with little boys?

Al:  Apparently.  I don't think I have any with you.

Lance:  Not yet.

Al:  No.

Lance:  During the three seasons of Tough Enough, what was the worst and most embarrassing audition tape you remember?

Al:  Probably the kid, Scott Chong, who was dancing naked with just a paper bag on his private parts.

Lance:  Was it a big paper bag?

Al:  It's a big paper bag, I don't think it was necessary.

Goldust:  Lance, bring the fi-i-i-re out of him, man, come on, keep rolling though.

Lance:  Number four.  You have spent three years as Tough Enough's head trainer.  In that time, you referred to the contestants as your kids.  Our questions is:  Who was the bastard child?

Al:  Who was the bastard (chuckles) child?

Lance:  There's always one.

Al:  It'll have to be Josh.

Lance:  Josh?

Al:  Josh Matthews.  He's a little bastard.

Lance:  He's still around here?

Al:  Yes, yes, he is.

Lance:  Who should win this four-way fatal match:  Al Snow, Avatar, Shinobi, or Leif Cassidy?  Remember, they are all in their prime.

Goldust:  My God, who's Leif Cassidy?!  Come on!!  Let's get on the ball here!!

Al:  I don't think any of them could win.

Lance:  Do any of them have a prime?

Al:  I don't think any of them actually had a prime.

Lance:  Where did Al Snow first discover Head?

Al:  That was in New Britain, Connecticut.

Goldust:  Keep rolling!! Let's go!

Al:  Spike Dudley and Mikey Whipwreck gave me Head.

Lance:  That can't be good.

Al:  (Chuckles) It helped my career.  You might want to try it.  You seem a little repressed.

Lance:  It might loosen me up a little bit.

Al:  Anything could do it.

Lance:  You have been co-hosting Sunday Night Heat for a few months now, have you learned anything from your partner?

Al:  I've learned he's not as heavy to carry around as I thought.

Lance:  Alrighty.

Goldust:  Lance, wait, wait, wait.  Here you are, go like this..relax.  Ask the questions, read your cue cards and let's get out of here, ok?  Speed it up!

Al:  I think you are going a little too slow.

Lance:  You once campaigned to be WWE Commissioner.

Al:  Yes.

Lance:  Do you have any advice for Gary Coleman and Arnold Schwartzeneggar in their quest to be Governor of California?

Al:  Yes, uh, get midgets as campaign managers.  Small people equals big ratings.

Lance:  Wouldn't Gary Coleman have that covered already?

Al:  It's true.  He's a midget.

Lance:  Ok.  Nine.  You own over 200 hockey jerseys.  In ten seconds, name as many of those teams as you can.  Ready?

Goldust:  Excuseeeeee me!! This is NOT hockey, this is wrestling, PRO Wrestling, WWE.  Lance, get that through your thick hea,.. hea,.. skull.

Lance:  I didn't write the questions.  Ten seconds…Next question.  Good job, Al.

Al:  (Laughs)  There's, uh….how do you deal with him (meaning Goldust)?

Lance:  If there was one trash can lid left in the world, who would you hit with it?

Al:  What now? (Laughs)

Lance:  If there was one trash can lid left in the world, who would you hit with it?

Al:  Probably myself after this interview.

Lance:  If you hit him (meaning Goldust), we would be out of the woods, won't we?

Al:  (Laughs)  This has been insane.

Lance:  Thank you, Al.  This has been Outside the Ropes.

Goldust:  And cut!!

Your Reporter has been Carol.....a new HEAD staff member