Al Snow/A Progress Report

Wrestling World Magazine by

Ralph Hogan

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Al Snow,one of the few genuine intellectuals to be found in professional wrestling these days,is being featuered on the World Wrestling Federation's television specials.It is very much to the credit of Mr.Vince McMahon,a gentleman whom I admire greatly,that he was able to secure the services of so capable an athlete as Al Snow.

I do wish,however,that Mr.McMahon would put a stop to those rowdies who speak of Al in a condescending manner because of close associate,with whom he converses on a regular basis.

A"talking head"?in case you've forgotten,that's what CNN news correspondent Peter Arnette calls himself whenever he goes on TV with a story which subsequently becomes a subject of controversy.Are we to suppose that Peter Arnette is not an articulate individual?Would any rational person suggest that this highly respected news correspodent is incapable of holding a conversation?

Of course not.Why.then,should there be any problem with Al Snow having a conversation with his everpresent companion?

Certain simple-minded individuals are claimimg that Al only imagines that his companion hears him and talks to him.They actually belive that,since they aren't able to hear both sides of the conversation,that no conversation is taking place.

If that were true then Al Snow would have to be well.crazy!Cretainly,no one could believe that Mr. McMahon would utilize the services of a man who was mentally ill.After all,Mr.McMahon has access to the top talent in professional wrestling,and is in fact a very respectable athlete in his own right,as he demonstated not long ago in a contest pitting him against the dreaded"Stone Cold"Steve Austin.

Athlets who are allowed to compete in the WWF have to be not only physically fit,but also mentally alert,as well as being persons of good character.Just look at the lineup on any WWF card and you'll see exactly what I mean.

As I was saying,the mere fact that some observer is unable to evesdrop on Al Snow's comversations with his companion is certainly no indication that a conversation is not taking place.What this does indicate is that the conversation in question is occurring on a spatiotemporal plane which is beyond the comprehension of those individuals who merely betray their own ignorance when they suggest that Al only imagines that his companion talks to him.

Before I even had the opportunity to meet Al Snow in person,Al's name came up in a conversation I was having with my dear and trusted friend,Kevin Sullvan.I asked Kevin if he were familiar with Al Snow,and what he thought about these contrversial conversations Al was having with his companion.

If I had any doubts about Al Snow I was greatly reasured by what Kevin had to say."Do not doubt that which you simply do not understand,"he advised me.I explained that,I had seen and heard Al Snow on television,but from his companion.

"Ralph,have I taught you nothing?"Kevin responed."Do you suppose that such simple electronic devices as microphones and video cameras are capable of reproducing the ethereal nuances which complete those conversations?

"Where you not there,with me,at the initiation of the Purple Haze into our Coven?Did you not gain enlightenment at the feet of Abughdadein in the forbidden mountain regions of Tibet,land of the Yetti.the one fools call the Abominable Snowman?'Did you not emerge from this region with a knowledge of thinks long forbidden to mortal man?"

"Why then,do you doubt that there could be another such person in our midst?Have you been exposed too long to the simplistic psychobabble of those pathetic misguided souls whom the media and the academic community foolishly label "intellectuals?"

I felt humbled by Kevin's firm, but understanding admonition.Here I was privileged to be at one with an intellect,the likes of which resides in few mortal men,and I had questioned his councel!

Still I felt it necessary to ask yet another question,this time.making certain that he understood that I was merely seeking additional wisdom.The what level of achievment on the road to perfection might Al Snow have attained,was answered in a forthright manner.

"It would be difficult to say at this point,"Kevin confided."however I perceive that Al has made considerable progress,while still having much of the journey ahead of him.

As a matter of fact" he added " since you have taken such an interest in this matter,it might be a good idea for you to make contact with Al Snow in person,evaluate his progress,and report your findings back to me."

What an honor! I had been given an important assignment by none other than my spiritual mentor.Kevin Sullivan himself!

I quickly set out in search of the venerable Al Snow.and was fortunate enough to locate him at a WWF event within a week.His performance in the ring was that of a methodical strategist.Not an exceptionally big men for a heavyweight wrestler,Al was nonetheless impressive,seeming to possess an ability to anticipate his larger opponents's every move.

Afterwards I congratulated Al on his victory,and invited him and his companion to late dinner,he graciously accepted.

Durning the cource of the evening,proper introductions were made,and the three of us had a delightful time dicussing matters which those sitting at adjacent tables obviously did not understand,because they kept staring at us and whispering among themselfs.A nervous acting waiter came to our table several times asking if there might be anything else,and asking if we'd like our check.

Honestly,I don't think I shell ever go back to that place again.It was cenrtainly expensive enough that one might have expected to encounter a clientele who would have had better manners.For all the class that place had,I might as well have taken my guests to a truck stop!

After we left,I suggested a coffee house where we might enjoy a bit of privacy as we continued our discussion.They agreed,and this turned out to be a wise decision.

The interior was dark,there were few other patrons.and we were not disturbed.

When I broached the subject of people who were skeptical about Al's ability to converse with his companion,he smiled and said,"It's so good to be in the company of one who understands.

"One might suppose"he added"that people would realize that all communication is not audible.And I'm not just talking about things like modern satelite communication:for centuries,the wisdom of the ages was perserved on the pages of handwritten books.And we would do well to remember that,at such time,few were those sufficiently educated that they could read,thus only a select few were able to gain access to the acquired knowledge of the pervious centuries"

The mention of Kevin Sullivan's name sufficient to elicit a repectful responce from Al and his companion."Your friend's reputation is well known,"he observed,and his companion agreed.After that,whereas Al and his companion had been most cordial,they became highty respectful,knowning that I was on a first name basis with one of the greatest intellects of our time.

All of which was fine,however,Kevin had asked me to ascertain the level to which Al Snow had advanced in his quest for perfection,for which reason I had both the moral authority and an ethical obligation to do exactly that

A certain part of the process had to do with holding conversations with Al's controversial companion,whose head is all that's visible in the usual sence,and whose voice can be heard only by the enlightened among us-few of whom are to be found in the environment most often frequented by one who must survive at the physical level in Al Snows profession.

While the details of our conversation are of a confidential nature,let me assure you that Al Snow's companion can and does speak,not only to him,but to anyone on an equivalent astral plane.Thus,what the uninitiated might consider a one sided conversation is actually a lively exchange of ideas between two highly intelligent being an exchange in which I felf privileged to share

This should certainly suffice to dispose of these terible rumers which suggest that Al Snow is crazy.After making his acquaintance and conversing with Al and his companion at some lenth,I can assure you that Al Snow is as sane,rational and well adjusted as I am.Those who would suggest otherwise obviously do so out of ignorance or out of jealousy.

I felt it necessary to submit this information for public consumption because of the unfortunate prevalence of false and misleading inforation concerning this worthy individual.I'm sure that these peronal obervations on my part will suffice to put this matter in it's proper perspective.

As a result of the aforementioned research,I am pleased that I will be able to give my esteemed associate Kevin Sullivan,a favorable report concerning Al Snow.We must never cease to strive for perfection,but I know Kevin will be pleased to hear of the progress this fine young disiple is making

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