Tough Enough Three Show Re-cap Nine

Tough Enough 3---12/19/02

Wha? Wha happened? My head is splitting, and my mind, reeling...All I know is that it is a week later..and that it is time for Tough Enough 3...A whole week has passed? Was it those damn aliens again?..Something about chairs....

Anyhow, the recap/teaser this week focuses on the fact that Jamie is doubting herself, and being tested in the ring; and that the ribbing is getting a wee bit out of hand..

They open with the whole gang home again from Iceland, and coming into Trax W. Jamie reflects that she is the only girl left, and thus must compete with the guys, and that, 'That kinda sucks'. Kelly's name is expunged from the wall of dreams by Al, who quips, 'Just remember: Long as your name's white, you're alright..if your name's red..your dream's dead.' He also goes on to say that game faces need to be on, and he knows that they are all tired..but doesn't care. 'Big' tells them all that there are only three weeks left..and that cuts will soon be made. Everybody seems right to be concerned.

Next up, Al teaches them 'Leapfrogs', and the pace is fast and furious. Justin says that they are all enjoying learning the new moves, and they do seem to be..even when Jonah almost takes a header through the bottom ropes. Al laughs and says that he has not seen 'that one before'. Jamie seems to be having a bit of trouble, and at one point, does not leap high enough to clear--and pretty much lands right on her face. Oops. Diva. She assures everyone that she is fine, but flails around a bit; then tells us that she does not feel confident doing that particular drill. Justin is also having problems, and says that he is having trouble keeping his balance. John speculates that Justin just does not have the 'It Factor'..Bill tells him that he does not like being in the ring with someone that cannot control their mud..or something like that..He sums up by comparing a somewhat crestfallen Justin to a noodle..and the drizzling sh*ts. (That Bill sure has a way with words.) In the next two scene spots, Justins is seen sipping coffee pensively, and then giving Yahoo! a healthy plug; while going on about his frustration.

We next go back to the house, where Eric informs us that Jonah is a scumbag..well, DUH. Oh, he meant in reference to housekeeping..sorry. Jonah apparently does not clean up after himself in any way..or do dishes, for example. He is shown grousing about it..then grousing about the lengthy trail of ants marching along said sinkful of dirty dishes. Jonah defends himself by acknowledging that he is not the 'cleanest person', and that that is WHY they have clean up after him; then further tries to put Eric down by calling him a 'house husband'..Jonah is then shown using an antibacterial spray to torture and kill the ants...and then proudly displaying their corpses to everyone on a paper towel.

'Big' comes on to remind us that 'ribbing' is a time-honored tradition in the wrestling business, and that the cast of this season is living up to that tradition very well by 'ribbing left and right'. Al comes on and reminds us that he has promised to 'get Jonah'. All the past ribs are reviewed fondly. In the next scene, night has fallen, and the moon is full. We see some sort of infrared shot of the boys asleep in their beds. It is well-inferred that ribbery is indeed afoot..After lights out, a yellow convertible pulls up outside, and Bill comes on and tells us that up until that point, Jonah had felt 'untouchable'--that no one could 'get him'. Ah-hah..Out of the car pop Bill and Al, who have purchased four or five cans of shaving cream. 'Operation Snowstorm' is underway. They make hasty whispered plans in the driveway, looking pretty darn cute with bandanas pulled up over their chins and noses bandito-style; then creep stealthily into the house. Up the stairs. Into their rooms...and on to a commercial break.

When they return, they are shown puncturing the cans at the feet of the contestants' beds (Don't try this at home, kids!)..then running like mad as the cans explode in a shower of white! Jonah interrupts to tell us that he woke up and it was 'white all around' him..and the trainers are shown--white-ALL-kinda-over---as they make their escape. As Bill runs past John's room, he is intercepted for a moment, as John tries to leap onto his back..The two jump into the car, laughing like twelve-year-olds at each other (Al sys that he had a 'sheet of shaving cream, like, two inches thick' from his nose to the top of his head), and steal away into the night...

Afterwards, the kids wake up..and the full impact of the rib is shown. It is pretty impressive. As Jonah says, it was like 'bombs' of shaving cream went off. The crap is EVERYWHERE. Touche'...but, once again, 'Don't try this at home'. What a mess! They know that they have been bested by the masters..and set about cleaning it up. Jonah holds up a fist, campily crying, 'I'll get you, Al Snow! If it's the last thing I do!'...what movie is that from?

Next morning, they arrive at Trax W, and give a round of applause as they file in. The trainers tease them about looking 'beat up', and they reply that they didn't get much sleep..The trainers ask if they had 'visitors', and they say that they did. John is grinning especially wide, and says that one of the visitors left his hat there; as proof, he is wearing it..Bill marvels that he has a hat JUST like that. John says that the visitor dropped it as he ran up the driveway. Bill denies that he ran up the driveway, and he and Al laugh as he says that he DROVE up the driveway..har de har har..and they all agree that 'Operation Snowstorm' was a success.

Back to business. They all take off, and Ivory says that they are not doing a physical challenge--but, a 'stunt' today. They arrive to see a huge scaffold..and a man standing atop it above an airbag. Jonah is freaking a bit, as he does not like heights. The dude coyly asks them if they 'got what it takes'...and then leaps from the scaffold to the bag. Yikes. They are introduced to the stunt co ordinators and told that they will learn what it is like to be airborne...and to learn more body control and awareness. They are to start small, and build their way up..and Jonah hedges, saying that every physical challenge they have had, he has blown. Off they go, from varying heights, using varying positions..until they are ready for the scaffolding. Eric says that the jumping wasn't that was the getting up to the ledge that was the problem, as the scaffolding was 'wobbly'. Kee-rist. Higher and higher they go..and, as John said, the higher they went, the more important it became that they kept the proper form. They make it up to the thirty foot mark, and Jonah (self-described 'guinea pig') is not happy. He is 'holding on for his life', and the adrenalin is pumping..Drama, drama...He finally takes the plunge, but just drops 'like a bullet', according to Matt, and lands with no form, on his feet..the worst possible way you can land. Naturally, he gets up and tries to make a joke out of it, saying, 'I don't care about the form. I did it..I did it..Have a nice day!'  Well, apparently the coordinators care about the form, and 'pull the plug' on the whole thing right then and there..saying that they were not experienced enough..and that when form is not followed, people get hurt. End of stunt. End of day. Everyone is disappointed. Jonah looks 'sort of sorry', and they leave.

Back at the house, he calls his girlfriend, and she is crying but will not tell him why. They hang up, and he complains about it to Matt, then goes to bed.

Next morning, it is back to business at Trax W, and they are mixing it up--ropes and turnbuckles, and hammerheads. Jonah is not doing this well, and stiffens up each time..Al calls him, 'Frankenstein', and it suits. This goes on for a while, until Jamie and Matt are working together, and she botches a leapfrog and knocks him out cold. For, like, fifteen seconds he is flat on his back. She tells us that, physically, she is just 'not there'..and illustrates this by actually trying to pin the guy while he is out cold. She didn't even notice..Matt recovers himself, and Jamie says that she is worried that the guys are hesitant to work with her because she is a girl, and now that she is actually hurting them..Al consoles her by telling her that 'This is not ballet', and that 'Getting hurt is different to us than it is to other people'. End of drama.

They are fortunate to have a guest trainer this week. Even more fortunate that it is Chris Benoit. The proper montage is shown, and Justin marvels that he is 'just like you see on tv'. They are properly awestruck as he spoke to them about respect and attitude in the business, and how that makes the business work. He also stresses that it is a form of art, and I like that. He demonstrates his trademark suplex on Matt, and they are duly inspired. Jamie bugs her eyes as she says how fast and precise he is, and 'crisp'. She is right. They get to work with him, and be critiqued; and I envy them. I mean, Benoit..Jonah gives up too early on his match for Benoit, and is criticised for it..and Benoit wonders aloud to the camera if the kids realize the opportunity they have, and stresses how totally engulfed one must become a part of the business. It is time for him to leave--why must the really good ones leave so quickly?--and they thank him for his time, and off he goes.

Later that night, the gang goes out, and Jonah--having had a bad day---proceeds to get totally drunk. To the point where he is out of control, and vomits several times out the car door onto the street. With surprisingly little fanfare, they haul him home and out of there, but not before one of the cast (can't tell whose voice it is) calls him, 'The New Scott'. Whoa...splat.

In an instant change of settings, they (*poof!*) are at the Improv Olympic West, for character development. 'Big' sets them up, and explains to them what it is about, and intros the teacher. The segment is pretty condensed, but they are told at one point to think of five words or ideas that capture character..and they are put onstage to cut promos. No fabulous 'Psycho Hawk' standouts this season, but Jamie is lauded by Ivory for 'holding her own' with her rather pedestrian 'Vixen' schtick..What a surprise. Jamie then goes on to say that Justin did not do well..and I have to admit, his bizarre ramblings about notebooks and hiking boots were a bit odd. Everyone gets through it..Well, everyone except Jonah, who actually leaves the class to call his girlfriend. To whine about the contest, and to wonder if he should stay..and asks her if people would be disappointed if he quits...blah, blah, blah..sob, sob...Tough Enough? You gotta wonder. Is it the stress? Or the hangover? Guess we will find out next week, folks, as that is the show.

Unless the aliens--or Greg---come for me again, I will see you all then..Fade to black.